There are no heroes on LSU's team. There are no players who can look at their individual efforts this season with any pride whatsoever unless they're satisfied with mediocrity. There may be some young guys whose performances can be built off of, like Terrence Toliver or Jordan Jefferson or Patrick Peterson, for example, but Friday none of the three can say they contributed to victory more than defeat. All of them made key mistakes which helped cost LSU the game.

And then there is Rahim Alem, who is a talented but at this point stupid football player. I don't think Alem meant to kick that football as he celebrated Tyson

Jackson's batted-down pass, as from what I could tell Alem wasn't even looking at the ball. I think it was an accident. But stupid football players are the ones who either celebrate a batted-down pass as though that's a play of major significance, or in the alternative make an ass of themselves out of trying to catch the ball, not catching it and then throwing a temper tantrum. You can believe what you want where it comes to what in the hell Alem was doing; either way it was evidence of a stupid football player on the field. I hate to call the kid's intelligence into question; from what I understand he's a kid with a lot of bad ideas but otherwise a relatively sharp fellow to talk to, but from watching him play this year I notice he's undisciplined and he's got a nice penchant for really hurting his team with very damaging mistakes.

Of course, given the scandalously poor job Earl Lane has done with the defensive line it's possible that Alem's stupid football might be merely a symptom and it could be fixed by firing Lane and hiring someone competent to coach the Tiger defensive line. Because Alem isn't the only stupid football player on LSU's defensive line; Tremaine Johnson is even dumber.

Yes, the guy from Arkansas Johnson was flagged for fighting with after LSU shut Arkansas down on a 3rd-and-29 play was trying to gouge his eyes out, and yes, whoever that kid was deserves every disastrous bit of misfortune that life can throw his way. May he develop elephantitis of the crotch.

Happy, Tremaine?

It doesn't excuse Johnson for taking a swing at the kid after a play in which Arkansas had conceded possession of the football and Johnson was getting off the field to the sidelines - where presumably nobody would gouge his eyes out. I say presumably, because based on the current level of chemistry on LSU's team I no longer make those assumptions.

But the level of selfishness and stupidity which would have Johnson cost his team a defensive stop so that he could exact his own personal revenge after a play from a fifth-year senior who is supposed to be a leader on LSU's team is beyond breathtaking. I don't think I will ever forget that play, both from the sheer idiocy it displayed and from the clear effect it had on LSU's football team. If Johnson just gets away from that kid, LSU has a punt return Trindon Holliday likely catches at midfield and the Tigers are going to start a drive in Arkansas territory up 30-21. They score there and the game is for all intents and purposes over.

And that was denied LSU.

Of course, Alem's stupid football also came on that drive. And a defensive holding call on Patrick Peterson came as well, meaning just under half of a 90-yard drive by what was the worst team in the SEC before LSU inherited that mantle came directly from stupid penalties by LSU.

Now that Croom is gone, is Miles officially the dumbest coach in the SEC?

Collectively, the LSU coaches are the dumbest in college football.