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View Full Version : A Little Ha-ha #2: You Might Be A Republican If...


gatorunvrsty
07-05-2008, 05:55 AM
Also from another site:

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

:happy:

zartan
07-05-2008, 05:57 AM
i laughed particularly hard at the Hootie one.

sheluvsbama
07-05-2008, 06:27 AM
These certainly ring true, don't they? :laugh:

azamugg
07-05-2008, 10:38 AM
Also from another site:

You Might Be A Republican If...



You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

yea, Dems never look for a break in taxes......hell they don't pay any! LOL


You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

luckily when minimum wage is raised it will be a moot point since those jobs will be fewer


You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

kind of like "my white grandmother"


You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

or support killing babies but support life in prison



You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

and?


You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

versus, "I can't wait for my check to get here"


You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

versus "Sweetie" I guess



You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

have never owned a gun cept the one I was issued in the service



You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

wonder what party affiliation Los Angelicans are?



You're afraid of the liberal media."

as well ANYONE should be





just my own inserted funnies

cocky4ever
07-05-2008, 11:01 AM
Also from another site:

You Might Be A Republican If...

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.



You're pro-life but love to go out and kill things then hang part of their dead carcass on your wall is also acceptable:D