2008 Fulmer Cup

[Cianne]

It's time again to start the Fulmer Cup countdown courtesy of EDSBS and SASWiki.com

2008 Fulmer Cup Scoreboard

1. Alabama Crimson Tide 28
2. Missouri Tigers 21
3. West Virginia Mountaineers 19
3. Virginia Cavaliers 19
5. Washington State Courgars 17
6. Arkansas Razorbacks 16
7. Penn State Nittany Lions 14
8. Georgia Bulldogs 13
9. Colorado Buffaloes 12

10. Illinois Fighting Illini 11 *
10. Tennessee Volunteers 11
10. Nebraska Cornhuskers 11
13. Florida Gators 9
13. Mississippi State Bulldogs 9
13. Miami (Ohio) Redhawks 9
13. Kent State Golden Flashes 9
17. Oregon State Beavers 8
17. Rutgers Scarlet Knights 8
17. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 8
20. Indiana Hoosiers 7
20. Hawaii Warriors 7
20. Nevada Wolfpack 7
20. Bowling Green Falcons 7
24. Boston College Eagles 6
24. Iowa Hawkeyes 6
26. Oklahoma State Cowboys 5
26. Louisville Cardinals 5
26. Troy Trojans 5
26. Duke Blue Devils 5
26. Kansas State Wildcats
31. South Carolina Gamecocks 4
31. Florida State Seminoles 4
31. Ole Miss Rebels 4
31. Arizona Wildcats 4
35. Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders 3
35. Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles 3
35. LSU Tigers 3
35. Clemson Tigers
35. Vanderbilt Commodores 3
35. East Carolina Pirates
42. Oregon Ducks 2
42. Notre Dame Fighting Irish 2
42. Cincinnati Bearcats 2
42. Iowa State Cyclones 2
42. Ball State Cardinals 2
42. Syracuse Orange 2
42. Purdue Boilermakers 2
42. Marshall Thundering Herd 2
42. Oklahoma Sooners
42. Michigan Wolverines
42. Ohio State Buckeyes
54. Connecticut Huskies 1
54. Arkansas State Indians

-- Louisville Cardinals 2 - Points redacted due to season still going on at the time
-- Texas A&M Aggies 9 - Points redacted due to season still going on at the time

*Up for individual achievement at the moment for the Ellis T. Jones III Award.

Ellis T. Jones III Award

1. Jimmy Johns of the University of Alabama - 20 points (There may be more to come as using his amateur status to advertise for his pitbull company is probably an NCAA violation, but I don't know how they score this)
2. Erique Robertson of the University of Illinois - 11 points
3. John Stull of the University of Missouri - 10 points

[ugafan48]

Wait, what?

[Cianne]

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUP 2008: IT BEGINS APPROPRIATELY. NOW WITH THEME SONG! (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/14/fulmer-cup-2008-it-begins-appropriately-now-with-theme-song/)

The Fulmer Cup enters its third year of existence as college football’s premiere offseason time-waster and the only established measure of which teams really do have the least well-behaved student-athletes in the sport of football. In case you aren’t familiar with the system, we’ll recap the rules and even show you an example of the scoring, since the University of Tennessee–appropriately enough–gave us an example this weekend to open the scoring for this year.

Points are awarded for player arrests. These have to be current football players and verified charges, so if Uncle Jimboridicus calls and tells you that he swears he saw someone being stuffed into the back of a squad car…no dice unless we’ve got a wire report or an arrest record. Also, if it’s a graduated player, or someone who’s already declared for the draft…no go there, either. Coaches can count, but relatives of players do not.

The rules for scoring are as follows, but are not limited to:

* Murder: 5 points.

* Rape: 4 points. Downgraded to one if either participant is wearing a clown mask.

* Bestiality: 4 points. It’s a form of rape, really, no matter how much the goat has had to drink. High point value justified further by the fact that it involves having sex with an animal. You could say this was unthinkable, but in the past year alone two stories involving college athletes and at least the association with barnyard bonhomie of a most intimate degree have been reported, including the EDSBS Official GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD: the arrest of Oregon State player Ben Siegert for stealing a sheep used in a study on homosexuality in sheep.

* Grand Larceny: 4 points. We use this as a catchall for players being involved in crime so outrageous and well-planned it can only be described as ‘nefarious,’ ‘professional,’ or ‘legislation.’ Applies to large drug rings, chop shop operations, and the Haitian human trafficking ring that’s been run out of the Miami locker room since ‘93. (We kid! They didn’t get that thing humming ’til ‘95 at the earliest.)

* Hitting Girls: 3 points. We’ll downgrade this to 2 if the girl can hold her weight and requires daily medication to prevent her from gouging her own eyes out (since those were the ones we always ended up dating, and we understand); or we’ll upgrade to 4 points if the damage includes intensive care. Dad always said never hit girls, so we take this one seriously. Dad also said always double down with split aces, too, but we’ll be damned if we didn’t end up selling bone marrow in Macau the last time we followed that bit of advice.

* Car theft/Assault/Driving through houses drunk/Drug possession of the Tyrone Biggums variety: 3 points. “Drug possession” never sounds all that bad until you add in ‘crack cocaine,’ which is society’s signifier that your life has gone from that of high functioning simian in a complex society to that of a rat with electrodes in your brain’s pleasure centers hitting a pedal in a glass box in a lab. Weed? Par for the course, especially if you’re NFL-bound. Crack? Break out the Sports Century ‘Weepy Sonata’ music, because the story of your descent from boundless potential has just begun, and they haven’t even begun to show the grainy shots of 130-lb you huddled in a shelter on Skid Row.

* Fightin’ in ‘da Club/Weed Possession/Standard DUI: 2 points. Any scenario involving group fighting of a thugged-out, ‘we run this place’ variety, and marijuana possession of the nickel bag level. Possession of 100 pounds of marijuana is a totally different thing, and takes you right back up to the 4 point ‘nefarious’ level.

* Drankin’/Suspended License/Assorted petty misdemeanors: 1 point.

Crave it: The Fulmer Cup.
There is a fair amount of wiggle room here, especially given the degree of the crime and the zest with which is was committed. For example: there’s DUI, and what we’ll call Estonian DUI. Some poor kid who had one too many beers gets pulled over with a .09 BAC? That’s standard DUI. Some coach gets pulled over, say on a desert lane somewhere in Arizona, for instance, with a .45 BAC and a can of ether? This calls for bonus points, an award determined both by reader input and by Queen of Hearts Rules. (Orson is the Queen of Hearts here, and if he says off with its head, then it’s off with the head.)

The updated scoreboard will be maintained again by Brian “Hung Like Reggie F’n Nelson”, who will get an even cooler nickname this season if he keeps it up. Scoring is maintained in detail in the archives here, but somewhat more conveniently talled by our close personal friends at SAS Wiki at their indispensable Fulmer Cup page.

The Ellis T. Jones III award, neglected last season, will make a return to the scene this year. The ETJ3 is given to the player who makes such an astounding individual achievement he cannot fairly be considered to be part of the team. This is designed to offset not only the impact of one bad egg on a whole team, but also to recognize outstanding effort on the part of the individual. Think of it as the Davey O’Brien Award, but for stealing car stereos instead of passing.

Now, for an example: Tennessee wide receivers Gerald Jones and Ahmad Paige were showing some recruits around this weekend. Light stuff, really: a nice cruise in the ride, a few joints firing away in the ashtray, and the one excuse a cop needs: a busted tag light. Paige granted police permission to search the car, they did, and now we know what explains Tennessee’s blunted deep passing game this year: two possession charges, one for Paige and one for Jones, and the first points of the new season go to the Cup’s namesake, the University of Tennessee.

The tally:

2 points each for possession, meaning a total of 4 for Tennessee. You count them each, and considering the piddly amounts involved, you’re not talking Tyrone Biggums/Nate Newton levels here.

Let the race begin! When the fat man says it’s time to dance, it’s time…to dance!

[ugafan48]

If only Knoxville was like Atlanta. Those players would never stay out of trouble.

[geechee]

If only Knoxville was like Atlanta. Those players would never stay out of trouble.
What does that mean?

[ugafan48]

Cuz they're in trouble enough in Knoxville. A bigger city would just be hell on them. Especially since there's nothing in Knoxville to get in trouble at other than smaller clubs.

[HOG02]

At least we were in the preseason rankings. Like always though, we more than likely won't be ranked at the end of the season.

[lacene]

Hey, the Vols got to find some way to bring in the recruits.....

[geechee]

Cuz they're in trouble enough in Knoxville. A bigger city would just be hell on them. Especially since there's nothing in Knoxville to get in trouble at other than smaller clubs.

Tech seems to be doing fine keeping their players out of trouble in the ATL, of course they can't seem to get them all to go to classes but that is another story.

[ugafan48]

Well that's Tech. Different schools different styles. Tennessee being one of the top party schools wouldn't handle well in a big city.

[larryt4111]

Well that's Tech. Different schools different styles. Tennessee being one of the top party schools wouldn't handle well in a big city. :thumpsup:

Yep, thats right, they'd have to ware shoes, learn to spell PEACH TREE[Peachtree] and, hijack a car [using a 410 sinsle shot] to meet Phat Phil at the Varsity for hotdogs and O rings.
On the way south, I doubt they'd make it past Dalton.
If they did, they'd more than likely end up like Pascual Pérez and circle the city endlessly.
Ha Ha Ha

[Cianne]

The 2008 Fulmer Cup continues to roll on with Missouri picking up some points and Louisville and Penn State under debate as to whether to roll their points in!

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: MISSOURI PLAYER GETS CHEMICALLY FESTIVE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/15/fulmer-cupdate-missouri-player-gets-chemically-festive/)

Missouri earns points the red-blooded American way: drugs. Recreational chemist and Missouri reserve defensive end John Stull has been kicked off the team following last Thursday’s arrest for possession. Police found a diversified portfolio with Stull upon his 1 a.m. arrest.

The police report indicated police found a bag reportedly containing marijuana, assorted pills and cocaine while exercising a search warrant at Stull’s residence. Boone Country Court records indicated Stull was charged later Thursday with a Class C felony.

Stull has had two other brushes with the law prior to this arrest, so this probably surprises few in the Missouri camp. For a class C drug possession felony, we’ll give Missouri three points for the cocaine/pills combo, a drug combo so advanced for a college kid it is only usually found on gay trustafarian club kids who pass out in expensive cars on their way home from the orgy.

Louisville gets feisty. Showing more fight in a single night that Louisville’s defense did all last year, Louisville Cardinal running back Blayne Donnell broke a guy’s jaw at a party December 15th. Now…if this is just surfacing, do we award points despite the fact that it occurred during the bowl lull last season? It’s a complicated question, but fortunately we won’t have to deal with anything like this for a…

F* f* f* f*. Okay, so Penn State has some points in the making on old but newly refiled charges, too. What the hell are we supposed to to with these, too? If you haven’t seen them before and they’re refiled, do they count for this season, too?

We turn it over to the panel to discuss. The Missouri points are incontrovertible, but Louisville and Penn State await your judgment.

[Tennessee Ted]

Hey, the Vols got to find some way to bring in the recruits.....

It did not work with this one as he announced today he was committing to Oklahoma.

[fernandomike]

Trust me. There is plenty of trouble you can get into in Knoxville. And if Phil doesn't get consistently tougher with punishment, we stand a pretty good chance of holding onto our lead in the cup standings.

[Cianne]

The EDSBS commentary has decided to award 2 points to Louisville because while the incident occurred during the bowl season, Louisville didn't go to a bowl and was therefore in the offseason.

[ColonelKurtz]

The Dawgs make their (hopefully) last entrance into this year's rankings as two guys enjoyed a chilly night in the Athens-Clarke County Bed & Breakfast.

CB Donovan Baldwin was stopped for Improper Driving and failed a field sobriety test and was booked for DUI.

FB Fred Munzenmaier was arrested for public possession and then under aged possession of alcohol.

Guess it was a party night last night as former Dawgs Terrell Bierria was arrested for DUI and Speeding.

:angry:

[OleMissPike]

FB Fred Munzenmaier was arrested for public possession and then under aged possession of alcohol.

I know you have to respect the law, but public possession/public intoxication is such a horse shi# arrest. I'm all for State's rights, but in a time of war (or anytime in my opinion) the Nationwide drinking age should be 18 and one should be able to "drink in public" at any time, barring drinking and driving.

[VolMike98]

its easy to get in trouble in Knoxville because the UTPD and KPD go out of their way to get students into trouble, this year especially, its getting ridiculous anymore

[shanksta13]

Georgia should be on the board.

[Cianne]

They should be updating it tomorrow. I'll edit the OP when they do.

[fernandomike]

It looks like our lead is safe for the time being since Darryl Vereen was arrested for public intoxication last night.

[The Ramp]

its easy to get in trouble in Knoxville because the UTPD and KPD go out of their way to get students into trouble, this year especially, its getting ridiculous anymore

this is very true. i have a lot of UT friends who tell me stories of police harassment

[GatorBait15]

this is very true. i have a lot of UT friends who tell me stories of police harassment

Welcome to Palmetto FL. :angry: we have he biggest assholes in the world in PPD!:angry:

[The Ramp]

Welcome to Palmetto FL. :angry: we have he biggest assholes in the world in PPD!:angry:

that's why i love new orleans. you have to kill someone in new orleans to get arrested and still that's not even a certainty:laugh:

[shanksta13]

that's why i love new orleans. you have to kill someone in new orleans to get arrested and still that's not even a certainty:laugh:

Gotta admit that I miss it. Never getting carded in bars, not getting a ticket for getting pulled over with a case in the car, etc. is really nice. :thumpsup:

[gatorunvrsty]

It looks like our lead is safe for the time being since Darryl Vereen was arrested for public intoxication last night.

Is that a new one that isn't related to the recruit incident?

[fernandomike]

Is that a new one that isn't related to the recruit incident?

Unfortunately, yes.

[the Paradox]

Vereen must be shaking in his boots awaiting that 6 hour suspension from Fulmer. That said, I loved his work in Roots.


RTR

[fernandomike]

Vereen must be shaking in his boots awaiting that 6 hour suspension from Fulmer. That said, I loved his work in Roots.


RTR

He reportedly won't be allowed any dessert at the team lunch today either.

[gatorunvrsty]

He reportedly won't be allowed any dessert at the team lunch today either.

Well, I hate it for the kid, but you really have to put your foot down these days and lay it on a little heavy; so these things don't get out of control. After all, if you don't make an example of the first offender, you could always have a second inci... oh... wait.:whistle:

[Cianne]

Ok, Fulmer Cup update. Tennessee's newest DUI hasn't been included so they have temporarily lost the lead.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE! COWPUNCHER TURNS COP-PUNCHER (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/22/fulmer-cupdate-cowpuncher-turns-cop-puncher/)

Classic: Georgia can’t drive. For three years now, we’ve been advocating the hiring of a motor vehicles supervisor for the University of Georgia Bulldogs, who never manage to do anything really heinous around town but rack up distorted Fulmer Cup scores thanks to their inability to drive legally or register a vehicle properly.

In this year’s model, one night featured two UGA classics in row. They happened sequentially, as if packaged for our convenient consumption:

University of Georgia police arrested cornerback Donavon Baldwin, 21, for improper driving and driving under the influence at 3:05 a.m. Sunday.

Fullback Fred Munzenmaier, 19, was arrested 34 minutes later by university police for underage possession of alcohol and being a pedestrian walking in the roadway.

We assess UGA four points in all for the two offenses: two for the DUI, one for the improper driving, and one for the underage possession/behavior risking becoming a human speed bump.

Washington State safety Xavier Hicks earns second-degree assault charges for soaking his teammate Grady Maxwell’s contact lenses in rubbing alcohol. Maxwell avoided any harm–he did not put on the lenses, and was presumably tipped off by Hicks suggesting repeatedly “Hey, why don’t you put in your contact lenses, hmmmm???–and is evidently pressing charges with ferocity. We would, too: the worst we ever did to any dorm mate was hanging a banner outside our friend Weo’s window announcing that he was both gay and proud. See, he wasn’t gay! That’s what made it FUNNY. “Hate crime.” Whatever.

WSU is awarded four points: three for the assault per Fulmer Cup statutes, and one bonus point for total dickheadedness by Hicks in this case.

And our new leader: Oklahoma State. Courtesy of tight end Brandon Pettigrew, who kept it real with a local police officer following a fight involving “10-15 people” in downtown Stillwater this past Sunday morning.

The 6-foot-6, 260-pound Pettigrew and others were told to disperse, but Pettigrew refused to leave, Metcalf said. With his elbow, Pettigrew allegedly struck an officer in the chest, Metcalf said.

At that size, he’s lucky he didn’t get tasered within an inch of incontinence by local law enforcement officials. For individual arrests involving people as big as Pettigrew, we’re fairly certain it’s well within the statues of most states to call in airstrikes on them if necessary. Pettigrew was charged with assault on a police officer and public intoxication, meaning a total of five points are assessed for the charges: three for assault, one for being drunk in pub-lick, and one bonus point for hitting a cop. Do we need to explain that hitting a cop is egregiously wrong and deserving of bonus points? No, we don’t.

There we go, Coach Gundy. Hit us with our own tirade. We can take it, being a man, though not forty.

Penn State is still noted on there for the refiled charges from last year because, frankly, we’re still on the fence here. Last year’s charges refiled for this year’s points just feels so cheap and reheated.

[Cianne]

The scoreboard on EDSBS isn't wanting to include Missouri and Louisville for some reason, but the SASWiki still has them and they were awarded points on EDSBS in the past week so I'm keeping them on their until I see an official redaction.

[OneBigDawg]

Hot off the AP wire:

Two Texas A&M football players accused of tying up and mugging a drug dealer at gunpoint have been indicted on felony robbery charges.

That ought to be worth several Fulmer Cup points...

[Cianne]

The Rebels debut on the Big Board with one more point than they should since fighting wasn't involved but hey, we're happy to be here.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: EROTIC CHICKEN + BEER = ARREST (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/24/fulmer-cupdate-erotic-chicken-beer-arrest/)

Resisting arrest with zest: Ole Miss.DA REBBAH DONE–wait, wait. We can’t do the Orgeron voice when it comes to Ole Miss stories anymore, can we? He’s moved on to the Saints to coach their defensive line, meaning we fully expect to see Ed himself crashing double teams when he suits up in an attempt to psych his troops up next season. Watching a man blow both ACLs at once will never have been as festive, ami!

Instead, we’re left with the sadness of an Ole Miss team coached by the merely insane Houston Nutt. They make their debut in the Fulmer Cup with the arrest of safety Jamarca Sanford, who refused to leave the parking lot of Night Town, a billiards club, the kind we hate because it’s loaded with douchebags who, if you come within ten feet of them, give you the death glare and ask you “hey hey HEY! Little room at the table, here!” (See: Twain’s, Decatur, GA, for another of these.)

Apologies, Minnesota Shats–we’ll just be over here moving the cue ball with our minds, causing you to miss shots by fractions of an inch. Perhaps Jamarca hates these places, too, and just wanted to fight–or perhaps he was mesmerized by the menu offerings at Night Town. Erotic chicken might make us feisty enough to get arrested, too.

Fried Mushrooms - basket of ’shrooms served with ranch dressing. These ain’t the mushrooms that’ll get you to that Rocky Mountain high… But they’ll get you damn close. $4.50

Cheese Sticks - mozzarella cheese sticks served with marinara. Hung like your boyfriend but tastes twice as good. $5.00

Potato Skins - Potatoes, taken out back and stuffed to the brim by the capable hands of young Cuban ladies… topped with melted cheese and bacon bits, served with sour cream. $4.50

Chicken Tender Basket - hot, sexy chicken tenders and fresh-cut french fries served with your favorite spread of mouth-watering sauces. “NightTown… the most erotic chicken in Oxford.”

They watch ‘em on 8mm? Now we totally want to hang with the owners of Night Town. It’s a rare breed of gentleman that breaks out the double-reel for his porno, sir.

Oh, and two points for Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup.

[dcbl]

Hot off the AP wire:

Two Texas A&M football players accused of tying up and mugging a drug dealer at gunpoint have been indicted on felony robbery charges.

That ought to be worth several Fulmer Cup points...

FULMER CUPDATE: AGGIERAVATED ASSAULT EDITION

Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck!

Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck!

Duct tape, robbery, assault charge- check! Check! Check!

Two Texas A&M Aggies make a smashing debut in the Fulmer Cup, or whatever the noise made by an apartment door crashing in is, because that’s one of the things two Aggie football players were indicted for on Thursday in Bryan/College Station.

They’re accused of robbing a Callaway Villas apartment November 29, hitting a person and tying up two others with duct tape. Police believe the alleged armed robbery was part of a drug deal.

Babalola starred on the Bryan High School football team before earning a starting spot on the A&M offensive line.

That’s a phenomenal entry into the Fulmer Cup: two aggravated robbery charges alone take the Aggies to six points, and the felony drug charges faced by joiner likely bump the total up to a provisional score of nine points for the Aggies, vaulting them into the lead. That’s…that’s just got to hurt, Cadets. Your reaction?

We know. It’s painful. (HT: Dave)

[GatorBait15]

The Fulmer cup has to be one of the greatest/funniest things I have ever seen! baha

[Cianne]

Updated with Aggie goodness now.

[Cianne]

Well bad news for anyone who hates on the Aggies. Their points are going to be redacted due to the events occuring during the season. Good news is that Missouri is taking their place at the top! I know there are some discrepencies between the SASWiki board and the EDSBS main page board so I'm trying to keep that in mind.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUP SCOREBOARD: ROCKY TOP HOLLERIN’ (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/28/fulmer-cup-scoreboard-rocky-top-hollerin/)

This week’s cup runneth over with points for Missouri and some bonus foam on that rapsheetaccino for Tennessee. The Big Board is, as always, brought to you by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson.

Missouri earned points we neglected to include last week, mostly because we couldn’t believe anyone not named Robert Downey, Jr. could be caught with such a diverse array of recreational drugs. And yet he exists: late of the Missouri football team, backup defensive tackle John Stull was arrested on Jan. 11th and is charged with two felony counts of drug possession, one misdemeanor count of drug possession, suspicion of possessing drug paraphernalia, possession of intoxicating liquor as a minor and use of a false identification.

Felony drug possession is a step above your average weed-toting Gator-inhalator charge, especially when you’re talking about coke and pills, which is precisely the case in Stull’s case. Three points each for those, one point for the misdemeanors, and we’ve cooked up a 10 point kilo of points for Missouri that was miscounted as 3 last week. We, like the Gainesville Sun, regret the error.

The asterisk by the score is significant, though: it indicates an early watch on the Ellis T. Jones III award, meaning the award for the single largest score for an individual. If Missouri stays clean for the rest of the Fulmer Cup race, we would award Stull the ET3 award, and give the program award to someone else. The point is to account for programmatic, patterned bad behavior ind a single program, not one outlier on an otherwise well-behaved team. Thus the little octopus hovering in the northeast corner up there.

Officer, I don’t like your tone. Tennessee lineman Anthony Parker picks up a bulls**** disorderly conduct charge, but a point is a point is a point here. Why is it a a bit bull****ish? Because Parker’s biggest crime seems to be hollerin’ and cussin’, a time-honored pasttime in Tennessee from what we can remember from our tenure in the Parallelogram.

Knoxville Police Department spokesperson Darrell DeBusk said Parker, 21, was arrested in the parking lot of the Sutters Mill Apartment complex just after midnight Saturday morning.

DeBusk said officer Sam Henard saw Parker standing in the parking lot of the complex, waving his hands and yelling.

Henard then arrested Parker and took him to the detention center . . . .

That’s why it’s bull****, but you don’t quiet down when the cops come a-callin’, and you get-a disorderly conduct charge and one point for the Vols, who are already making an outstanding claim in the early paces of the Fulmer Cup race. Tradition never graduates! WOOOOOOOOO!!! This is ourrrrrr country…..



And remember…Ole Miss picks up points for disorderly as well. We still think they’re blameless due to the intoxicating effects of erotic chicken.

P.S. Texas A&M’s points were an error, as well–the incident occurred during the season, and is not eligible.

[Cianne]

Big update with the Fighting Zookers coming through big.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: GUNS ALL OVER THE PLACE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/29/fulmer-cupdate-guns-all-over-the-place/)

Erique Robertson, Illinois weak-side linebacker, has been charged with three felonies in connection with an incident near the astonishingly spelled “E’llusions” nightclub in Champaign, illinois.

Freshman football player Erique Robertson pleaded not guilty to three class-four felonies Monday, one day after head coach Ron Zook suspended him indefinitely. The 19-year-old linebacker is charged with reckless discharge of a firearm and two counts of aggravated unlawful use of weapons.

According to a Champaign Police report, Robertson was also charged at the scene with not having the proper identification for a firearm and obstructing justice.

If the charges hold, that’s three points a felony charge plus the misdemeanor points…all tallying up a whopping 11 points for the Illini, who if you’ll recall leaped to a sizeable lead last year with the breakup of a burglary ring involving two players. This eleven point total would ensconce the Illini in the catbird seat with a one-point lead over Missouri, and also puts Erique Robertson in the running for the Ellis T. Jones III Award for individual achievement.

Remember: when [NAME REDACTED] talks about the need for proper gun handling, he’s not talking about firearms man.

------------------------------------------------

http://www.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2006/10/zookskiing.jpg

This picture is so awesome.

[Tider27]

Wait, no Bama? But the Auburn fans said we're having player problems?!?!

[D^3]

Urban meyer must have taken care of those unruly cops... they haven't arrested Tony Joiner in awhile...

[GatorHunter]

Urban meyer must have taken care of those unruly cops... they haven't arrested Tony Joiner in awhile...

Can always count on D3 to insert a snide Gator comment...:rolleyes:


The Gators have thrown their hat into the Fulmer Cup Rankings:

19 y/o freshman DT Torrey Davis was cited for underage possession of alcohol after being caught outside a Gainesville Night Club holding a cup of "Rum-n-Cola". Davis told the authorities that the cup wasn't his (of course it wasn't his);) The officer did not smell liquor on Davis' breath or have probable cause to believe he was drinking or intoxicated, so he was simply cited. Hope the Gator youth aren't as active this off-season...

[Cianne]

Yay. We have someone tied with us for last place now.

[M2J]

Wait, no Bama? But the Auburn fans said we're having player problems?!?!

Yeah supposedly Saban isn't much of a disciplinarian because he didn't suspend Simeon for that BS arrest and he doesn't let media always know about his punishments.

[adamsputnik]

I wouldn't have thought there were so many knobjockeys in college football - this little competition is proving to be somewhat educational!

Also, you can get arrested for yelling? So much for land of the free :wink:

[D^3]

Can always count on D3 to insert a snide Gator comment...:rolleyes:





Now WHAT, I ask you, would our rivalry be without snide comments? Hmm?

[Sabanocchio]

I enjoy your snide Gator comments....Almost as much as my own. :D

[Cianne]

Florida makes their official entrance into the Fulmer Cup with Torrey Davis' not knowing here he was with his beer. Duke also comes into the picture with what is sure to be plenty more discipline problems under Coach Zombie.

EDSBS » Archive » CURIOUS INDEX, 1/31/08 (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/31/curious-index-13108/)

Drankin’ outside will get you one. Torrey Davis, DT for Florida, was cited Jan. 19th for underage possession of alcohol outside Venue, a nightclub in downtown Gainesville that, like every other nightclub in a college town, has a phenomenally lame name. Davis picks up one point in the Fulmer Cup for being shaken and stirred while not being over the age of 21.

Duke picks up a few points just because they’re overacheivers and all, earning points for a nightclub scuffle at the equally dumbly named “Club 9″ in Durham.

Eron Riley, 20, was cited for public affray and Austin Kelly, 18, was cited for failure to disperse and resisting, delaying and obstructing officers.

Affray’s one of our favorites: it basically equals a lot of hollerin’ and being threatening not just to one person, but many. Meaning Ed Orgeron could, if the cops really wanted to die, be charged with this every single day of his life.

[Cianne]

And here we go with the official addition of points for the Tennessee Volunteers for their latest offseason occurrence. They appear to be hellbent on getting this trophy back.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: VOLS STILL TIPPIN’ (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/04/fulmer-cupdate-vols-still-tippin/)

File under drankin’: 26 year-old Vincent Faison, a walk on for The University of Tennessee, was arrested for DUI in Knoxville this weekend. The police report comes out today, so we’ll see if Faison had a merely tipsy night of drinking or went into Yeltsin territory with his BAC. As it stands now, it’s a standard, generic brand DUI, and thus earns the Tennessee Vols another two points in the Fulmer Cup. We’ll check totals later today, since Oregon’s got a nifty little drug charge on the weekend, too.

The best bit from the Tennessean article (http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080203/SPORTS0601/802030393/1035):

The only player Fulmer has suspended is Faison. The disciplinary action Fulmer handed out to the others included community service at a drug rehab facility, participation in police ride-alongs, curfews and more frequent drug tests.

They get to ride in a police car? In the front? That sounds fun, especially since given the Vols’ mayhem-heavy offseason already, this sets up for the sweetest of possible ironic scenarios: a Vol football player in the front on a ride-along being there for the arrest of–yes–a teammate, who will then have to ride in the back. The only thing cooler would then be the cop getting high with the football players, and then getting arrested by another cop who has to take all three to jail in another car. It’s a Russian Doll/homunculus situation: the only thing cooler than a football player participating in the arrest of another football player would be another football player getting arrested by a football player and so on into infinity…

[crusse10]

for the record, yes. utpd needs to get a life and quit with the bullshit arrests/tickets. i actually watched a guy get arrested, yes ARRESTED, for jaywalking. he walked across the street on the hill, and got chased down and tackled by UTPD.

...bitches.

[Cianne]

And here's the updated scoreboard for the day. Oregon makes its debut thanks to some stellar drug trafficking.

EDSBS » Archive » THE BIG BOARD: ILLINIWEK WRECKIN’ (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/04/the-big-board-illiniwek-wreckin/)

The new charges, notes, and clarifications:

The Vols pick up two for Faison’s DUI and continue to win the team award: five arrests in total only have them at the eight point mark, meaning they may be kings of the junk bond market, but in points alone they’re trailing due to the spectacular tallies of Missouri and Illinois.

Oregon enters due to the weird charge of “running a drug house,” (http://www.registerguard.com/csp/cms/sites/dt.cms.support.viewStory.cls?cid=58856&sid=1&fid=7) a charge that must be from the civil code of Oregon or something since we’ve never heard it before. On paper, it merely looks like receiver Derrick Jones was arrested for contempt of court, so for the moment we’ll assess the Ducks with a mere two points. If the charges blossom into something spectacular–JONES HAD LIVE TIGER, WORLD IS MINE NEON FOUNTAIN SCULPTURE IN DRUG MANSION–then we’ll modify. For now, two points it is.

Note that Missouri and Illinois are up there for individual accomplishments, and so may both end up being Ellis T. Jones III candidates for individual achievement, not Fulmer Cup winners.

[Cianne]

I've missed the last two FC updates but here they are with Notre Dame and West Virginia coming in.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: WEST VIRGINIA GETS SMOKY (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/07/fulmer-cupdate-west-virginia-gets-smoky/)

The West Virginia Mountaineers add some fire to the Fulmer Cup, staying high in the West Virginia hills with an ambitious-sounding charge of “felony possession of marijuana with the intent to deliver.” The reason we say the charge reeks of an almost admirable ambition: they had intent to deliver, dude. Following all the way through like a champion. Holding the rope, as it were, and sticking to the task at hand with the sticky-icky.

One thing the players cannot be accused of: staying cool under pressure. Man, just be cool. Seriously. Don’t say s***. That’s how a gangsta does it. Don’t. Say. S***. I mean–

Deputies found packaged bags of marijuana in the vehicle and in Ingram’s right shoe. After Ingram allegedly told one of the deputies there were also drugs at his apartment, investigators found more marijuana and bags used to package the drug in a bedroom.

–yeah, well, so much for the “staying cool” part of that speech, Scarface. The best possible defense at this point will be to claim that the kids were using Arnold Schwarzenegger’s old post-workout recovery techniques to enhance their performance, albeit without wearing the “Arnold is numero uno” shirt.

He’s leading the life you all want to live, people, and do not deny it. Oh, and nine points for West Virginia, putting them in an extremely competitive stance in the Fulmer Cup.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: BRINGING THE IRISH BAC! (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/06/fulmer-cupdate-bringing-the-irish-bac/)

In all the Signing Day hubbub, we shouldn’t forget to note Notre Dame scoring, both because it’s been so rare in the past year or so, and also because if we don’t note it now we’ll have to deal with all the emails saying “You can’t count!” and “Don’t forget our points.” Bloggers make lousy accountants, but let’s go ahead and get to the digits.

Notre Dame tight end Will Yeatman drank like a champion on January 28th but then made the error of driving his own victory chariot, an error noted by the local authorities in the form of a DUI charge, good for two Fulmer Cup points. Yeatman has been suspended indefinitely from the team by coach Charlie Weis. We’re tempted to demand his arrest and the filing of additional charges for this comment, though:

A month ago, Yeatman said that during Notre Dame’s 3-9 football season he had points where he became excited for lacrosse season early.

To be fair, this is extremely unfair quotation going on here: Yeatman also plays for Notre Dame’s lacrosse team, and says he just wanted to find some way to use his talents to make Notre Dame look good in an athletic endeavor. And if we’d had a 3-9 season last year, we’d crave the sweet relief of being hit in the face with a lacrosse ball, too.

[shanksta13]

I think I'm going to walk on as a kicker and then go blow up a building so I can boost our absolutely pathetic ranking. :laugh:

[The Ramp]

for the record, yes. utpd needs to get a life and quit with the bullshit arrests/tickets. i actually watched a guy get arrested, yes ARRESTED, for jaywalking. he walked across the street on the hill, and got chased down and tackled by UTPD.

...bitches.

UTPD are outta control. i know a lot of friends who were harassed there.

[crusse10]

I'd like to make an ammendment to the rules to allow the University of Memphis Tigers basketball team to join in the race.

[Cianne]

I'd like to make an ammendment to the rules to allow the University of Memphis Tigers basketball team to join in the race.

As far as I'm concerned, Calapari's squad could be win every year. Even then, Dozier and Dorsey wouldn't be eligible since their season is going on.

[Cianne]

Indiana gets its spot on the big board and comes up just short of moving ahead of the Vols for second place on the team rankings (Illinois and Missouri still only in it for the Ellis T. Jones Award since only one player has gone crazy).

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: INDIANA’S EYES WIDE SHUT NIGHT (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/12/fulmer-cupdate-indianas-eyes-wide-shut-night/)

He began shouting profanity and kicking his legs violently, Minger said. Then he began to swing his elbows and arms, and the medics had to restrain his arms, at which point he passed out again.

While medics were trying to take a blood sample, Johnson regained consciousness and began knocking over materials inside the ambulance, and knocking an IV out of his arm, Minger said. He was placed in a secure portion of the hospital.

Dad? No, it’s Indiana football player Darius Johnson, the most prominent casualty of what must have been The Party That Ended The Universe in Bloomington, Indiana this past Saturday night. Johnson earned resisting law enforcement, illegal consumption, and public intoxication charges the incident described above after he was found passed out in the staircase of an apartment building. Four other Indiana players earned disorderly conduct and public intoxication charges about 40 minutes earlier for peeing in public.

Five big dudes all this f****d up off a something consumed at a college party can only mean one thing: a keg of Icehouse and different permutations of fortified wine were involved. Certain other things had to happen, too: people of wildly varying attractiveness scales mated, a video game system was irreparably damaged at one point in the evening, and someone powered a hole into the hopelessly ruined brown carpet of an off-campus apartment with acrid cheap-booze vomit. If memory serves us correctly, the whole scene should have smelled like a homeless man exploded inside the apartment.

[gatorunvrsty]

Indiana gets its spot on the big board and comes up just short of moving ahead of the Vols for second place on the team rankings (Illinois and Missouri still only in it for the Ellis T. Jones Award since only one player has gone crazy).

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: INDIANA’S EYES WIDE SHUT NIGHT (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/12/fulmer-cupdate-indianas-eyes-wide-shut-night/)

He began shouting profanity and kicking his legs violently, Minger said. Then he began to swing his elbows and arms, and the medics had to restrain his arms, at which point he passed out again.

While medics were trying to take a blood sample, Johnson regained consciousness and began knocking over materials inside the ambulance, and knocking an IV out of his arm, Minger said. He was placed in a secure portion of the hospital.

Dad? No, it’s Indiana football player Darius Johnson, the most prominent casualty of what must have been The Party That Ended The Universe in Bloomington, Indiana this past Saturday night. Johnson earned resisting law enforcement, illegal consumption, and public intoxication charges the incident described above after he was found passed out in the staircase of an apartment building. Four other Indiana players earned disorderly conduct and public intoxication charges about 40 minutes earlier for peeing in public.

Five big dudes all this f****d up off a something consumed at a college party can only mean one thing: a keg of Icehouse and different permutations of fortified wine were involved. Certain other things had to happen, too: people of wildly varying attractiveness scales mated, a video game system was irreparably damaged at one point in the evening, and someone powered a hole into the hopelessly ruined brown carpet of an off-campus apartment with acrid cheap-booze vomit. If memory serves us correctly, the whole scene should have smelled like a homeless man exploded inside the apartment.

Wow, sounds like this kid's brain kept transitioning between two of Indiana's most famous home-made intoxicants... sour mash and crystal meth; both conveniently made in the same bathtub.:laugh: Pass out from the moonshine, wake up and bounce off the walls from the crank.

[Cianne]

Missouri has taken itself off the Ellis T. Jones III List and has put itself squarely in front for the Fulmer Cup. Missouri lineman Zachary Wayheart decided to show Gamecock QB Stephen Garcia how to really vandalize a car(s).

EDSBS » Archive » MISSOURI IS IN SAD NEED OF NIGHTLIFE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/13/missouri-is-in-sad-need-of-nightlife/)

The Fulmer Cup now gets serious as Missouri turns itself from one-trick pony (a single large arrest for massive drug possession) to a legitimate contender. Tigers, you may thank walk-on offensive lineman Zachary Wayhart and his undeniable, irresistible lust for vandalizing cars for turning Mizzou from an Ellis T. Jones III candidate to a Fulmer Cup leader.

Police said the damage to vehicles in the Virginia Avenue garage occurred between midnight and 2 a.m. Feb. 3. Most of the damaged vehicles were on the first floor of the parking lot.

Owners reported myriad problems, including slashed tires, keyed doors, smashed windshields and footprints on the hoods of cars.

Wayhart picked up four counts of “tampering,” meaning he either vandalized these cars or messed with some high-profile contract negotiations of some kind. Tampering is a a one pointer, meaning Wayhart earns four points for Mizzou and puts them squarely in the lead for the Fulmer Cup. Also, Missouri clearly needs some nightlife. What, Branson isn’t enough for you, you greedy bastards? You’ve got Yakov Smirnoff–WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?

[Cianne]

Well a Dozier did make it on to the list but it's not the girlfriend puncher, Robert Dozier, at Memphis. Instead it is Walter Dozier at MTSU.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: BLUE RAIDER RAIDED (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/14/fulmer-cupdate-blue-raider-raided/)

Middle Tennessee picks up three points for felony marijuana possession thanks to Walter Dozier, who certainly looks to be into distribution like Rick Ross:

According to the arrest report, police seized a large ziplock bag containing three smaller bags of marijuana, digital scales, a box of baggies and six 12-gauge shotgun shells.

Dozier should be in much better shape than Rick Ross, since for a man who does so much hust-a-lin he keeps quite a few bills in his gut-wallet. Nevertheless, he caught a charge (he caught a charge?) and earns three points for the Raiders. Sun Belt what!

[Cianne]

Here we go with the updates to the Fulmer Cup courtesy of the good ol' SEC! Perennial favorites Tennessee, along with Alabama and South Carolina, are making us all proud.

EDSBS » Archive » JUMBO FULMER CUPDATE: VOLS, BAMA, AND COCKS, OH MY! (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/18/jumbo-fulmer-cupdate-vols-bama-and-cocks-oh-my/)

There’s much going on and Brian’s not going to have the big board until tomorrow morning, so here’s your jumbo-sized Fulmer Cupdate for the day. It’s a classic one at that: all SEC, DUI, weed, and a double Yellowhammer State felony extravaganza.


Ready to rock!

Britton Colquitt can’t drive after five drinks. Therefore, he earns a DUI for smashing into a car (http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3251463), causing $400 worth of damage, hitting a tree stump, and admitting the whole thing to officers in his arrest. To Fulmer’s credit, Colquitt earns the crack-the-whip momentum of the Vols’ current streak of misbehavior in one of the stiffest Vol penalties we can remember: suspended for the first five games of ‘08 and stripped of his scholarship. It’s three more points for the Vols, who aren’t in the lead–that’s Missouri, who should have 14 points on the board from tomorrow–but it’s a terrifically strong showing for the Vols.

The cloned fourth Colquitt will have to step in for Britton. He should be out of the jar by May and ready.

Alabama pulls in a double felony charge on unspecified first-degree armed robbery charges for Jeremy Elder. First-degree armed robbery, under Alabama law:

Under state law, first-degree robbery involves either a “deadly weapon or dangerous instrument” or someone causing “serious physical injury to another.” Both charges are Class A felonies.

The details could be juicy, but for now the blind-item charges get six points. Alabama may not claim their 32nd national title in the Fulmer Cup yet.

The Cocks get in on this with their first points of the season, and it’s a natural: weed. A Cocks classic (http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=58605):

Authorities say LeCorn, 19-year-old USC wide receiver Matthew Clements, and another man, 18-year-old John Casselberry, were detained after authorities responded to a call of loud music from their car. Officers say they smelled marijuana inside.

It’s always a great idea to turn up the music if you’re going to be smoking weed in your car. Especially if you’re a black teenager in South Carolina. Cops never, ever look for that. Nope.

[timNem]

Roll Tide Roll!!!!

[SeanVol]

Hey, the Vols got to find some way to bring in the recruits.....

I guess you can say Britton was doing his part!

[Cianne]

The Fighting Manginos (Kansas Jayhawks) picked up three points over the weekend with this (http://www.kansascity.com/sports/story/477525.html) and this (http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2008/jan/28/ku_football_player_arrested_released/)

Also, it looks like Noel Devine is back to his thuggish ways that had every school but West Virginia backing off of him during recruiting.

EDSBS » Archive » MORGANTOWN BOOT PARTY YAY (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/19/morgantown-boot-party-yay/)

Umm…Deion Sanders’ tutelage seems to be paying off for Noel Devine (http://www.collegegameballs.com/2008/02/19/hit-and-run-outside-of-club-z/). He’s even throwing parties for total strangers! Boot parties, that is.

This is all alleged, and no charges have been filed yet, but it’s not an encouraging sign. The good news is that if the WVU police arrest him, they’ll have to catch him first. We’ve seen that that chase scene will look like, and it won’t be an easy one. Devine runs like he’s got an unquenchable thirst for gold coins. rings. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozTWsTu7AWo)

[M2J]

Damn, if we'd have gotten Noel last year we'd have a strong shot.


I still like our chances, lots of trouble to be found over the Spring http://www.emofaces.com/en/smilies/f/fingers-crossed-smile.gif

[JerryBeeds]

Well we still haven't cracked the top ten so that's positive.

[ColonelKurtz]

Well we still haven't cracked the top ten so that's positive.

Oh but you HAVE!!!

Current Cup standings:

1. Mizzou-14
2. Illinois & Tennessee-11
4. WVU-9
5. Indiana-7
6. Bama-6
7. Okie State-5
8. UGA, Wazzou-4
10. Cincy, Kansas, MTSU-3

[Sabanocchio]

Oh but you HAVE!!!

Current Cup standings:

1. Mizzou-14
2. Illinois & Tennessee-11
4. WVU-9
5. Indiana-7
6. Bama-6
7. Okie State-5
8. UGA, Wazzou-4
10. Cincy, Kansas, MTSU-3

I'm confused. I don't see USC on there.

[JerryBeeds]

Oh but you HAVE!!!

Current Cup standings:

1. Mizzou-14
2. Illinois & Tennessee-11
4. WVU-9
5. Indiana-7
6. Bama-6
7. Okie State-5
8. UGA, Wazzou-4
10. Cincy, Kansas, MTSU-3

Do what now?

[ColonelKurtz]

I'm confused. I don't see USC on there.

I think he cuts off the weekly tallies once all the news of the weekend is processed so look for USC's grand entrance in the next tally.


Do what now?

Bama did break into the Top 10 with the Elder thing.

[Cianne]

Kurtz,

1) I've already added South Carolina in the standings on the first page of the thread. Weed possession is a 2 point offense and since only Lecorn was charged, the Cocks only get two points. SASWiki assigned 1 point, but meh, the list calls for 2.

2) Why does Beeds care about Bama?

[ColonelKurtz]

Kurtz,

1) I've already added South Carolina in the standings on the first page of the thread. Weed possession is a 2 point offense and since only Lecorn was charged, the Cocks only get two points. SASWiki assigned 1 point, but meh, the list calls for 2.

2) Why does Beeds care about Bama?

1-Wasn't me who cared. :D
2-No Earthly idea. :happy:

[Sabanocchio]

1-Wasn't me who cared. :D
2-No Earthly idea. :happy:

Oh, okay. It's Kurtz that's confused not me. :thumpsup:

[Cianne]

Oh, okay. It's Kurtz that's confused not me. :thumpsup:

It's often the case.

[Noah.Dreams]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2012/2276840049_bdc69b74b5.jpg?v=0

[Cianne]

Petrino's old club makes another dive into a Top 10 list, now let's see if Kragthorpe can keep them there. Also, Oregon State is showing Colquitt how to really drink and drive.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: AM-UZI-NG EDITION (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/21/fulmer-cupdate-am-uzi-ng-edition/)

Louisville makes a massive dive into the Fulmer Cup. Appropriately, it’s for a crime that like Louisville began with aggressive offense and leaves them little defense. Even weirder: this was no raw freshman pulling the caper, but senior cornerback Rod Council, who after four years of relatively good behavior at Louisville got a wild feather up his ass and decided to rob a convenience store (http://www.whas11.com/topstories/stories/whas11_topstory_080220_council.109b1d32.html), conveniently ignoring Gale’s advice to H.I. in Raising Arizona: “I know you’re partial to convenient stores, but dammit, H.I., the sun doesn’t rise and set on the corner grocery.”

Police say he robbed a Jonathan Valley convenience store Wednesday morning and was captured in Tennessee.

According to the incident report, Council allegedly entered the store about 4:15 a.m. and pulled what looked to be a 9mm Uzi on the clerk, who was the only other person in the store at the time.

The suspect demanded all the money and the clerk’s cellular phone and fled the store. The store’s security cameras were able to catch the suspect leaving in a silver Chevrolet Impala.

At least he did it in style. Council’s only charged with one count of robbery with a dangerous weapon, but a brazen daylight robbery of a convenience store while class is in session…this calls for the good bubbly. Five points to Louisville: three for your generic felony count, one bonus point for going nuts and robbing a convenience store, and another for using the Israeli masterpiece, the Uzi, to commit the crime.

In summary: what the f***, Rod?

West Coast, what? Unimpressed by Tennessee punter Britton Colquitt’s denting of a car while DUIving around Knoxville, Oregon State starting safety Al Afalava repped the West Coast right by piling his car into a bus shelter in Corvallis, Washington, creating a boom in the real estate market by destroying one of the ten buildings currently making up downtown Corvallis. (Corvallis, we keed! Sort of!)

His blood alcohol content was above the legal limit, and well above a 1.0, Henslee said.

OMG his blood was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ALCOHOL?!?!?!?!?! Call Fark.com, this has…wait, sorry. Fractions, decimals, and percentages were never our strong suit. He was good and hammered, though: you have to be to drive through a bus shelter without having a seizure or a man pointing a gun at your head in the passenger seat.

The points get large fast with this one: three for the grand DUI, three for criminal mischief (a felony), and an estimated two for hit and run, since we’re not sure whether that’s a felony or a misdemeanor charge in Oregon. That is, in a single incident, eight points for Oregon State, a thunderous opening gambit in the intricate chess match that is the Fulmer Cup.

[Cianne]

Spent all day in class yesterday forgetting to go check on the Big Board but here it is.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: THE BIG BOARD (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/25/fulmer-cupdate-the-big-board/)

The biggest leap in the board comes from Oregon State. Do not blame us, blame the authorities who file the charges and insist on playing triple-word-score with the charges for otherwise five/six point crimes.

Al Afalava, a three-year starter for the Oregon State football team’s defense, was cited for criminal mischief, which is a felony, DUII and hit-and-run by the Corvallis Police on Feb. 9, according to Corvallis Police Department public information officer Lt. Dave Henslee.

See? Corvallis police charge him with everything including “untidy arrangement of vehicular garbage resulting in messy crash scene,” and by rule we spit out points like a broken ATM. Blame the Farvas at the Corvallis police department and drunkass Al Afalava for the skewed charges, not us. Mike Riley says he can tell Aflalava’s making a tackle just from the sound. Now the Corvallis police have the same ability.

Alabama makes the first of two ironic scores in the Cupdate. Your team captain gets arrested for disorderly conduct! No salt or pepper needed! Take that scotch neat, you will. Add in the Elder armed robbery arrest, and we’re talking magic.

Louisville went a-road tripping, and oh what a time that was. We awarded two bonus points for this one, but with the charges as they stand, even the brazen gusto of robbing a convenience store (and on a school night, young man) doesn’t tally up the pile of points Alabama and Oregon State racked up. Even so, the Farking is good to you and good for you in this case.

Double your irony at no extra charge: Iowa players get busted for drug charges while Kirk Ferentz, attempting to right the ship, is actually on the Iowa Hawkeye Booster Cruise. “Shore to ship, can you hear me–” “Umm, no…you’re breaking CHHHRRRGGGGGFAKEMOUTHNOISEKKRRRGGGG up KRRRGGHHHH…”

Kansas loses points due to a clerical error on our part: the trumped up “dog-on-the-loose” charge has been dismissed due to PeteJayhawk’s diligent work, informing us that the player in question is a fifth-year senior with no eligibility left. Not on the team, not in the tally.

Post your compliments, gratuitous stroking of our ego, and cries from the WAAAAAAHHHHHHmbulance below. And pleading for points is just perverse, unless you’re from the U. Then you’re just trying to compete like competitors would, playa. (We’re looking at you, Barstoolio!)

[BAMAPERRY]

Yeah, Nick is soft on discipline. So soft he suspended Prince Hall indefinitely for a poor attitude.

[Cianne]

Washington State getting some more points due to some outstanding beer pouring out of one of their freshmen.

http://www.sectalk.com/boards/sec-football-talk/25615-2008-fulmer-cup.html

We’re conflicted over the best strategy of being caught for underage drinking: do you own up, hoping for forgiveness, nonchalant the whole thing, or do you do everything within reasonable and unreasoable power to get rid of the booze, up to and including tossing the beverage out in plain sight of the cops? Or, in short: what would John Nash do, besides claim he’d been given the idea to drink underage from messages sent to him by aliens through this morning’s crossword? What’s your optimal strategy?

Washington State tight end Trevor Mooney, caught as a 19 year old passenger in a car with go cups in hand, opted for the extraordinary effort to avoid charges, as champions should. And failed, of course:

Trevor Mooney, a redshirt freshman tight end at Washington State, was arrested and cited for being a minor in possession of alcohol early Saturday. Police saw Mooney pour liquid out the passenger window during a traffic stop, and found two cups of beer at his feet, Pullman police Cmdr. Chris Tennant said.

He didn’t lose the game, you see; he just ran out of time. Wazzou, already on the board for assault via contact lens, earns one point for the shennanigans.

[Cianne]

Mississippi State's football players, trying to build on the momentum of beating Ole Miss, are showing they can't be beat by Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup either. It's yet unknown whether Ed Orgeron made another boneheaded call by giving the player the liquor and then forgetting to seatbelt him into the driver seat in order to lose it for the Rebels again.

EDSBS » Archive » CURIOUS INDEX, 2/29/08 (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/29/curious-index-22908/)

Mississippi State: sip from the serve, SKURR!!! Are you DUI, hardly ever caught sober? Then you might be Mississippi State linebacker Jamon Hughes, suspended from spring practice for a DUI arrest that earns Miss. State 2 points in the Fulmer Cup. Hughes also received citations for driving with an expired tag, no proof of insurance and with violating the state seat belt law, meaning he was really just a total hot mess behind the wheel that night.

[CarolinaGrad07]

We can add another one on that list....... WLTX-TV News, Weather, Sports for Columbia and the Midlands of South Carolina (http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=59160)

[gatorunvrsty]

We can add another one on that list....... WLTX-TV News, Weather, Sports for Columbia and the Midlands of South Carolina (http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=59160)

Just goes to show you how different the police are in different schools' cities. That mess would have gotten you locked up in an instant in Tuscaloosa or Athens; and those PD's have proved it.

[Cianne]

The Gamecocks pick up another two points for the FC.

EDSBS » Archive » CURIOUS INDEX, 3/3/08 (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/03/curious-index-3308/)

Cockfight! What can possibly equal the excitement of a good live cockfight? We can’t think of a better way to spend a late Saturday night/early Sunday morning in Columbia, SC, than making movies, singing songs, and foightin’ round the world. Neither can redshirt freshman Kevin Young of the South Carolina Gamecocks, who earns two points for SCAR (as they’re denoted on many scoreboards) for a tussle outside Red Hot Tomatoes in the Five Points district. For extra style points consideration: Young hasn’t played a down for the Gamecocks yet.

[D^3]

Just goes to show you how different the police are in different schools' cities. That mess would have gotten you locked up in an instant in Tuscaloosa or Athens; and those PD's have proved it.

Yeah Athens/UGA Police are very strict on fights. It doesn't matter who started what, if you're downtown and you are caught in a fight, you're going to jail... no discussion. And there are a sh**load of cops downtown doing nothing but watching for fights.

[CarolinaGrad07]

Quick question. Lets say someone is arrested but then found innocent in the courts, are they erased from the fulmer cup standings? And no i dont mean getting caught smoking grass and then get PTI which is attending classes for three months a fine and frequent drug tests in order to get the charge expunged from your record (PTI- Pre-trial Intervention. I am talking the judge had excused all charges on the individual for police wrong doings and unlawful procedures. Thanks for the help guys!

[bigsexxxy]

We can add another one on that list....... WLTX-TV News, Weather, Sports for Columbia and the Midlands of South Carolina (http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=59160)

You know, I don't think I'd ever mess with that police spokesman: Brick Lewis.

Note to self: Don't mess with dudes named Brick.

[CarolinaGrad07]

I dont know that much about the law, but i will tell you one thing that kind of seems wierd to me. How do you just write an individual a ticket for " resisting arrest" but never fully arrest them and book them downtown in the county jail.

So basically i "resist arrest" and then handed a ticket from the officer and told to go my own way? Sounds funny to me.

[Williams-Brice]

You can take Kevin Young off of the list. Every eyewitness account has supported Young's story, including the media member who is inherently anti-Carolina. I really think this situation is going to end up biting the Columbia Police Department in the butt.

[Cianne]

Young stays on the list until Orson takes him off.

[Cianne]

Since I've come to the thread, I might as well update it with Virginia coming in-style.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: CAVALIERS, FORWARD! (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/04/fulmer-cupdate-cavaliers-forward/)

Virginia somersaults into this b**** like Bill and Lance leaping into Nicaragua with the spread gun: UVA cornerback Mike Brown was arrested and charged with one count each of grand larceny, possession of stolen property with intent to sell, alteration of serial numbers and possession of marijuana. The charges were filed in connection with the theft of $3,400 worth of property from a car on the UVA campus. What college student actually has $3,400 worth of anything in their car besides various MP3 players, electronics, and weed is beyond us, but we hope the complainant in question had the good sense to report the loss of all three. The police love it when you report that someone has stolen your weed! It makes them very excited and curious about you, your problems, and when you’re available to talk about them face to face!

Three points for grand larceny, three for possession of stolen property with intent to sell, and a cautious pair of one point filings for the other two charges give UVA an eight point award in the Fulmer Cup. Charges to appear on the board as soon as Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson, gets our email and updates. Scoring is subject to revision upward on the last two charges, so those of you with a knowledge of the Virginia criminal code, please pipe up, because you will anyway.

[shanksta13]

The Gators officially announced at a team meeting today that they are waiting to announce all incidents and suspensions until just after the South Carolina game next year.

[Cianne]

Because I don't want to edit the post for this, here's EDSBS's Garcia arrest post.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUP: STEVEN’S JUST BEING STEVEN, DUDE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/25/fulmer-cup-stevens-just-being-steven-dude/#more-4777)

[BAMAPERRY]

this must be for a calendar year. Most of ours scroll off this summer.

[JerryBeeds]

Hogs just got one:

ArkansasBusiness.com - ArkansasSports360.com: Fairchild Gets Booked for Battery (http://arkansasbusiness.com/article.aspx?lID=78&sID=79&ms=80&cID=Z&aID=104019.34403.116145)

[MBGamecock]

Because I don't want to edit the post for this, here's EDSBS's Garcia arrest post.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUP: STEVEN’S JUST BEING STEVEN, DUDE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/25/fulmer-cup-stevens-just-being-steven-dude/#more-4777)


Matthew McConaughey is HOTTTTT!!!!

[Cianne]

Mississippi State's foray into the Fulmer Cup this week.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: CROOM FOR RENT (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/31/fulmer-cupdate-croom-for-rent/)

Mississippi State bang-bangs their way onto the board with a murky “shooting incident” on campus in Starkville last Friday. Two players were involved for certain: Michael Brown and Quinton Wesley were both sent screaming off the team with all due speed following the shooting, and others may be involved since the Miss State roster was sporting a few conspicuous holes during their spring game Saturday. (Urban Meyer finds all of these punishments harsh.)

The incident began with the source of all trouble, naturally: a convenience store.

MSU Police Department Lt. Don Bartlett said an altercation at a convenience store near the campus — the B-Quik store on East Lee Boulevard — occurred a few hours before the incident at Zacharias Village and “may have been the motivation” for the gunshots at the residence hall complex, The Starkville Daily News reported.

H.I. and the entire Tennessee football team agrees: convenience stores are hellmouths of trouble for the young mind, with their slushees, cheap beer, lotto tickets and pork rinds. Virtue is staying away from them entirely, kids.

Cincinnati lights up a few points–two points, to be specific–for Terrill Byrd smoking weed in his residence. Well, at least he can buy booze on Sundays, unlike the good citizens of Georgia, who instead must drive to a bar, where they get hammered, buy some fried food, and then hit the roads after drinking. Sonny Perdue, don’t you have rain to pray for instead of persecuting the lazy alcoholics of this fine state? Lazy alcoholism at home is a family value in the South, dammit.

(We don’t actually know if one can buy booze on Sundays in Cincy. All we know is that Sonny Perdue can go f*** himself with a corkscrew for limiting our personal freedoms in the name of winning a few Jebus voters in Crisp County.)

Missouri still sits atop this thing like a prize drunken peacock, but several teams sit in striking distance. Just a few misdemeanors separate Tennessee from Mizzou, and if any team has the gumption, abundant convenience stores, and raucous, enabling campus environment to make this thing happen, it’s Tennessee, dammit.

[Cianne]

Virginia is making a push for the title.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: J’ARRESTED (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/04/02/fulmer-cupdate-jarrested/)

Al. AL! Hey, someone nudge Al Groh and tell him someone’s been arrested. Oh, sorry. We forgot that’s what he looks like when he’s awake. Your football players are stealing credit cards from lockers at UVA, which is a great idea if you want the highest credit limits available on credit cards stolen from a public school locker room, but not so good in the morals, ethics, and getting arrested department.

U.Va. freshman J’Courtney Williams, a linebacker who redshirted last season, was arrested Monday by university police, Lt. Melissa Fielding confirmed this afternoon.

Williams, a Christchurch School graduate from Danville, was charged with one count of credit card theft, a felony, and one count of credit card fraud, a misdemeanor, Fielding said.

A U.Va. student “reported his wallet stolen from the Aquatics and Fitness Center,” Fielding said, “and our investigation led us to Williams and another student.”

J’accuse, J’Courtney! Three points for the j’felony and one point for the j’misdemeanor get you four points in the Fulmer Cup for UVA on their way to Wahoo-ing their way into the midranks of the competition. It’s a great testament to Al Groh’s charisma that following a year in which they went 9-4 and finished second to Virginia Tech in the Coastal Division that the biggest buzz coming out of Charlottesville is…well, a guy with an apostrophied name stealing a credit card to pay for his account.*

[Cianne]

More points this Monday.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: BUFFALO STAMPEDE! (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/04/14/fulmer-cupdate-buffalo-stampede/)

PENDING: MASSIVE POINTS FOR PITT. It allegedly involves a SWAT team, meaning the vaunted Wannstache recruiting charm extends not only to talented humans, but to whatever rough beast requires a SWAT team to remove him from a dorm.

Colorado bumps up another three points and places themselves in the thick of this trailer-park brawl with the arrest of Jake Duren, linebacker, for breaking into a car on campus this past weekend. Duren had just had an outstanding spring scrimmage, so in order to celebrate, he did the logical thing:

Duren, according to CU Police Cmdr. Brad Wiesley, was found bloody and smelling of alcohol in a hallway of a family housing complex near the campus. Duren, his hand bloodied, apparently had broken into a vehicle in the complex parking lot, Wiesley said.

Duren does not live in the complex, and Wiesley said Sunday night that campus police do not know why he was there.

“Found bloody and smelling of alcohol:” The subtitle for our autobiography, ranking right up there with “And now I am filled with shame” for the winner’s spot in that contest. Duren was immediately booted from the team by Dan Hawkins, who surely noted the youngster’s shorting on discipline and love early in life whilst tossing his locker contents into a cardboard box.

Extra bonus SMRT: how did the police link him to the scene of the crime? Duren left a trail of blood behind him.

April 14, 2008
FULMER CUPDATE: BUFFALO STAMPEDE!
Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson, brings us the Big Board again this week. Notes, invitations to join us for most glorious bearish Russian kettlebell workouts, and refusals to correct follow below.



Notes, corrections, clarifications and obfuscations:

PENDING: MASSIVE POINTS FOR PITT. It allegedly involves a SWAT team, meaning the vaunted Wannstache recruiting charm extends not only to talented humans, but to whatever rough beast requires a SWAT team to remove him from a dorm.

Colorado bumps up another three points and places themselves in the thick of this trailer-park brawl with the arrest of Jake Duren, linebacker, for breaking into a car on campus this past weekend. Duren had just had an outstanding spring scrimmage, so in order to celebrate, he did the logical thing:

Duren, according to CU Police Cmdr. Brad Wiesley, was found bloody and smelling of alcohol in a hallway of a family housing complex near the campus. Duren, his hand bloodied, apparently had broken into a vehicle in the complex parking lot, Wiesley said.

Duren does not live in the complex, and Wiesley said Sunday night that campus police do not know why he was there.

“Found bloody and smelling of alcohol:” The subtitle for our autobiography, ranking right up there with “And now I am filled with shame” for the winner’s spot in that contest. Duren was immediately booted from the team by Dan Hawkins, who surely noted the youngster’s shorting on discipline and love early in life whilst tossing his locker contents into a cardboard box.

Extra bonus SMRT: how did the police link him to the scene of the crime? Duren left a trail of blood behind him.

As spectacular as accosting your teammate with a knife is, the charges remain surprisingly paltry:

Bell, 21, was arraigned before District Judge Daniel Hoffman on numerous charges, including terroristic threats, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct and harassment. He was jailed, with bail set at $50,000.

All of the charges are misdemeanors, leaving us with five points on five charges. Even with one bonus point for the spectacularly stupid nature of the crime, the max we can award here is six points. For the perverse Penn State fan hoping for more points here, you should be ashamed. (And, um, no, you can’t have any.)

Anyone’s game at this point. True, boldfaced header: it is anyone’s game. We seriously, seriously doubt Missouri can rack up more points this season. (If they do, the “Pinkel Cup” has no ring to it.)

[JerryBeeds]

Florida just notched one. They say this one incident is worth 8 points for the Gators because multiple felonies are involved.

EDSBS » Archive » FULMER CUPDATE: THE DEAD FINANCE YOUR SUBWAY RUNS EDITION (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/05/09/fulmer-cupdate-the-dead-finance-your-subway-runs-edition/)

[Cianne]

Yea I've been bad about keeping this updated lately. Lemme update the scoreboard now.

[Cianne]

Now color-coded for SEC convenience!

[dcbl]

This is the best thread ever...

FULMER CUPDATE: THE DEAD FINANCE YOUR SUBWAY RUNS EDITION

When a teammate dies tragically in an accident, you mourn. You listen. You hold those around you close and share the unbearable pain of loss. You take one of the dead people’s credit card and use it to buy shit for six months. You get arrested for it when the parents notice their dead daughter has been buying stuff for six months despite being dead.

Jamar Hornsby of Florida followed this unique plan for mourning the loss of a teammate and a Florida student closely enough: somehow, after the death of Florida walk-on Michael Guilford and Florida student Ashley Slonina in a motorcycle wreck in October 2007, Slonina’s credit card ended up in the hands of Hornsby, who then revered the memory of the young lady by purchasing goods on the credit card for six months. Slonina’s parents finally noticed recently, and an investigation led to the beyond-classy Hornsby.

OS: Extra icing, please thank you very much life?

Life: Three scoops coming up, sir.

The card abuse started Oct. 13, 2007, the day after the girl’s death, according to court records and involved a BP gas card.

Ah, thanks life. You never force us to make things up, instead just giving us real and improbably terrible things. Hornsby is charged with credit card theft and fraudulent use of a credit card, which we imagine are both felonies. That’s three points times two for each felony charge plus the bonus point for using a dead girl’s credit card the day after she died and with one bonus point for it being a Florida Gator and therefore homer-shameful to us personally, and we take that to eight points for Florida, putting them on the big board in a fashion so tacky no amount of exponents can cover it.

Oh, and you there, we’ll say it for you “WAAAAAAHHHH you’re giving Florida points because you want to win.” Mr. Astoundinglystupidworth, if using a dead girl’s credit card the day after she died only gets two bonus points we should consider ourselves lucky for only getting eight points. Redux: you don’t want to win this thing. It’s not good. Perhaps that’s a point worth repeating from time to time: it’s not good to win the Fulmer Cup. It’s not good to win the Fulmer Cup. By the way, it’s not good to win the Fulmer Cup. For further reference, see: “Fulmer Cup: not good,” or the Wikipedia entry “Fulmer Cup: Bad.”

Extra fun update! How did Hornsby get the card? Simple. He took it when he was helping clean out the apartment with Joe Haden the day after the card owner died. Ashley Slonina. Joe Haden’s girlfriend. The dead one. Oh, Jebus this is sad.

[dcbl]

Do you get points for the 'assistant director of player personnel'?

My Way - Sports News (http://sports.myway.com/news/05072008/v8070.html)

May 7, 6:17 PM (ET)

ATLANTA (AP) -Former Georgia Tech quarterback Joe Hamilton resigned from his position at the school Wednesday, a day after he was charged with marijuana possession, driving under the influence of alcohol and hit-and-run.

[Cianne]

No. He's not a player.

[The Ramp]

so glad we're not in there this year. only one arrest so far

*crosses fingers*

[dcbl]

No. He's not a player.

Oh well, at least I got to post about a Techie running afoul of the law...

[The Ramp]

this must be for a calendar year. Most of ours scroll off this summer.

maybe they can be suspended for "half" a game?

[Rolling Baby]

or at least be kicked off the team/suspened/rejoin the team/kick off the team.

[Cianne]

Whoops, been a while since I updated this. Going to hit up the scoreboard since West Virginia and Noel Devine are closing in on Missouri.

[Sabanocchio]

Alabama leaps into the lead in the Fulmer Cup standings.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3129/2608550040_ee6f15932f_o.jpg

[KHVols1387]

Alabama leaps into the lead in the Fulmer Cup standings.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3129/2608550040_ee6f15932f_o.jpg

Tennessee is at 8? Ouch... we are getting abused this year. Hopefully Jimmy Johns will rat out the 10 players on UTs team he has been dealing to. That should put us back on top.

[Sabanocchio]

Tennessee is at 8? Ouch... we are getting abused this year. Hopefully Jimmy Johns will rat out the 10 players on UTs team he has been dealing to. That should put us back on top.

That's 9 now that Coker's off the team. :)

[BAMAPERRY]

We're about to have a few roll off. I think it's for a calendar year. Most of ours is one guy. :brick:

[JerryBeeds]

Damn. Bama's killing it.

[Sabanocchio]

We have a couple of walk-ons contributing points.

[BAMAPERRY]

We have a couple of walk-ons contributing points.

Three of our guys who were arrested were walkons, although one of them was Rashaad Johnson.

Jimmy Johns:

Five counts of unlawful distribution of a controlled substance times three points each= Fifteen points

One count possession of powdered cocaine: three points

Two unreported traffic citations= two points

The final tally: TWENTY POINTS, a score deserving of all-caps hyperbole, except that it isn’t hyperbole if you even come close to halving Ellis T. Jones 13 felony charges (somewhere around a forty point score by itself without any bonus points. Quantifying his achievement almost demeans its greatness.)

[fernandomike]

Damn. Bama's killing it.

with the way they've been recruiting they were destined to rise to number 1.

[ColonelKurtz]

I hope my guys are through with their run at the top spot.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/07/08/fulmer-cupdate-arkansas-scoots-closer/#more-5310

[Cianne]

Update!

[JerryBeeds]

Where's the update?

[Cianne]

The first page where the scoreboard is. I wasn't going to copypasta the article in this time. Just update the scoreboard.

[Cianne]

Wow wee wow. Not to be outdone by Shula's recruits, Rich Rod's recruits at West Virginia attack with full force to tie up Shula's Bama rejects. With three weeks to go to opening day, who will come out on top!

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/07/30/fulmer-cup-wvu-takes-the-lead-boggles-imagination/

Kendall Washington, redshirt freshman, puts West Virginia in a tie for the Fulmer Cup.

CANTON - The man told police the masked robber came to his bedroom as he slept, demanded money and jewelry, then shot him twice.

The victim couldn’t see the gunman’s face, but city police have charged former St. Thomas Aquinas High School football star Kendall M. Washington with aggravated robbery and felonious assault. A grand jury now will take a look at the evidence to see if he should stand trial.

Blanket allegedlys all around, but: breaking into someone’s house, stealing things at gunpoint, and then shooting someone in the head in front of their five year-old means large, large points no matter what the charges. Currently, as it stands, Washington’s charged with aggravated burglary and felonious assault. Under FC rules as they stand:

Grand Larceny: 4 points. We use this as a catchall for players being involved in crime so outrageous and well-planned it can only be described as ‘nefarious,’ ‘professional,’ or ‘legislation.’ Applies to large drug rings, chop shop operations, and the Haitian human trafficking ring that’s been run out of the Miami locker room since ‘93. (We kid! They didn’t get that thing humming ’til ‘95 at the earliest.)

Assault doesn’t seem to cover this; nor does generic burglary charges. Therefore, we award four points for each charge, and a bonus point for, well, HOLY HELL IN FRONT OF A FIVE-YEAR OLD CHILD? That’s Killing Joke Joker territory, there.

The total comes to nine points total, a sum which places in WVU in a tie for the lead in the Fulmer Cup. That’s not score manipulation to tie things up and make some excitement in the idle days of late July; if anything, that’s some circumspect scoring for a crime of astonishingly random, nasty cruelty.

[M2J]

DAMN:angry:

I want this, but I damn sure don't think we can take any more hits this summer to try and take it out right.

Maybe if we're lucky we can have someone get a petty misdemeanor that won't garner much attention

[Cianne]

Well you're in luck M2J ! All points awarded to West Virginia in the last update were redacted due to mass confusion as to whether Washington is actually on the team. The Bama nation retains the most felonius team title for now.

[M2J]

RTR!!!!!

[volfan86]

What i feel is the funniest part of this whole thing is that Tennessee has been on good behavior this summer... sure we weren't doing to hot back in Jan but since then we have not had one incident. maybe we should rename this to the Saban cup... jk