Tennessee Ted
10-24-2007, 08:51 PM
I awoke Friday morning at 3:45am and got all my pre-packed things together and headed for Nashville. SuperGenius aka Super G and Fernando Mike aka Fernando aka Nando were waiting for me in Nashville. SuperG demanded I arrive no later than noon. I thought leaving at 4am would easily put me in Nashville by noon, so I kind of took my time. Not wanting to risk construction or any delays in Chicago I took a roundabout way around the city that ended up taking me much longer than I anticipated. I knew then I was a little in danger of missing the noon goal.
I ended up getting in to Nashville around 12:15, and to my consternation, there was no one around at SuperG’s house. I was expecting a warm welcome, but his house was dark and quiet. I called SuperG to only get a message. Then I called Fernando Mike, and he said he was running late. He had some lame excuse about needing to wait for a baby sitter. I told him this was Alabama/Tennessee and that kids could watch over themselves for the weekend and to get his ass over here now.
Soon SuperG and Nando appeared, and we were on our way. We had another three hours to go to Bessemer, which was where our hotel was. The game was in Tuscaloosa, but it is difficult to get a room in Tuscaloosa on game day, so we had to settle for Bessemer. SuperG assured us that Bessemer was a really happening town.
We arrived in Bessemer got settled in and drove into Tuscaloosa for ribs at Dreamland. Dreamland is a Tuscaloosa institution that SuperG and Nando always go to for ribs the night before the game. We arrived and the line was outside the door, but we got sat pretty quickly. Soon we had a loaf of white bread and three full racks of juicy mouth watering ribs at our table. I asked the rather portly waitress if I could get a side of coleslaw or potato salad, but she just pointed to the bread and said that is our only side dish. It did not matter, except from a healthy heart perspective (since we were given three heart attacks on a plate,) as the ribs and bread were more than enough.
We literally rolled out of there and returned to the happening town of Bessemer. The plan was drinks at Applebees across the street. I was expecting a mass of hot young Bama and Tennessee fans spilling out of the restaurant, but when we got there were a few people at the bar including a man with two children. We sat next to the children and ordered a beer. The man’s father came over and started jawing in my ear. A table came open behind us and SuperG recommended we move their, but we mistakenly stayed at the bar. SuperG has worked many a shift as a bartender and he later claimed that he knew this dude was trouble from the start. He was right.
The father of the children came over and spent the next hour and a half right in my ear telling drunken stories of his past and cherry picking on our conversation. It was really annoying. What was worse was he had horrible breath and he was shouting in my ear and his horrid breath wafted right across my nose. To make matters even worse than that was his kids were sitting at the bar and they wanted to leave. He mentioned the children were a last minute surprise dumped on him by his ex-wife. They kept asking “Daddy can we go,” “no children,” he replied as he swilled another crown royal on the rocks down. Finally, Mr. Halitosis left us and our peace of mind not to mention our peace of nose was restored. It was a good thing as Nando and SuperG are both family men and they were getting irritated by his neglect of his children.
I keep in touch with SuperG and Nando through fantasy sports and various sports forums over the internet (yes we are dorks.) In fact, SuperG mentioned to his wife that he keeps in touch with me more than he does with some of his family members. Sitting at the bar in between these two sports experts was like being on a virtual sports forum. We discussed just about everything you could discuss in sports over the next couple of hours as we drained one large beer after another including such thrilling topics as is Gary Sheffield a cancer to his team, past Alabama/Tennessee games, we recapped the fantasy baseball season, and we discussed the age of other forum members on our Southeastern Conference forum and how their age influenced some of their posts.
Soon last call was made at Applebees and we asked the bartender if there were any other late night options. Summer, the bartender, did not blink an eye and stated that the place to go was Sharkeys. We paid our tab and following Summer’s lead, and we did not blink an eye and were Sharkeys bound. This bar was part of the Day’s Inn hotel. I have found that bars that are part of hotels seem to really rock. I knew that a hotel bar in Bessemer was the place to be, so obviously I was excited. We arrived and there was a neon sign indicating we had arrived at Sharkeyz. I have long had a fetish for bars that shake off the possessive contraction and go with a z at the end instead. Approaching the door the bouncers announced a $5 cover. This just added to my excitement because people if Bessemerarians (or whatever people from Bessemer call themselves) were willing to pay 5$ for a Day’s Inn Bar then it must be great. I asked if there was a band playing. The bouncers announced that there was not a band. They said the cover was for the privilege of drinking at a fine establishment until 4am. I paid the cover and confidently walked in and expected one of the greatest bar experiences in my life.
What my eyes saw was a totally different sight than the fantasies that had been built up in my head. The bar had 6 pool tables and a few locals were playing pool. There were a few older gentlemen up for the game talking to not very attractive looking ladies at the bar. There was dance music and two other not very attractive ladies were dancing in unison towards the back. We grabbed a seat and were soon marauded by some of Bessemer’s finest local ladies. One of these ladies indifferently exposed here bare breast to us without being asked as if she was casually showing her tattoo. Another was so hammered that she could only repeat over and over that she was getting divorced. I am not sure what was sadder, the fact that the bar was really lame, or the fact that we stayed until about 3am. I have not been to many bars that I have not like because in the end they serve a product that I am fond of.
We soon retreated and were back at the hotel around 3:30. SuperG said that we had to wake up at 6:00am in order to find parking. I set my cell phone to 6am and was in bed. What seemed like five minutes later my cell phone chirps and I wake up and turn it off. The same thing must have happened in the other room as I woke up again at 7:20am without any knocks on the door from SuperG. Somehow we managed to leave by 8am in a hung-over daze and fortunately we were able to secure parking.
We walked around campus a bit and chatted with Tennessee and Alabama fans. Tennessee and Alabama is one of the great rivalries in college sports. You would be hard pressed to get fans to agree on anything to do with college football, but there was one thing we all agreed on. We were in agreement that the 11:30am kick off SUCKED. Usually, this game is the marquee match up of the day in the Southeastern Conference and therefore gets a more prime time slot at 2:30 or sometimes even 6:30 on ESPN. With the feel good advent of Kentucky beating #1 LSU last week it kind of took away some of our luster. Kentucky was playing Florida and they were picked up by CBS at 2:30 and LSU vs. Auburn was picked up by ESPN at 8pm, so it left Bama and Tennessee fans to suffer and watch the games with still unhealed hang-overs at 11:30am.
We grabbed our chairs and opened our first beer around 9am. We were soon joined by some Bama neighbors. We were discussing how we wanted to see the Kentucky game after our game. Our neighbors had a generator and a TV and the man that was talking to us named Randy cordially invited us over after the game. We thanked him and said we would join his crew after the game.
Kick off was drawing near, so we headed down to the stadium. It took us about 15 minutes to get to the stadium and then another 15 minutes to walk up the spiral ramps going up to our seat. I had to hit the bathroom, and by the time I sat down Alabama had already scored 3 points. I guess they kicked an onsides kick on the opening possession, recovered it and then drove down the field and kicked a field goal before UT or myself knew what was happening. Although we got back in the game in the first quarter, it was not to be our day. We got a thorough stomping by our most bitter rival. There is nothing like traveling 12 hours, paying 125$ for a ticket and another $170 for a hotel room to see your team whipped.
I ended up getting in to Nashville around 12:15, and to my consternation, there was no one around at SuperG’s house. I was expecting a warm welcome, but his house was dark and quiet. I called SuperG to only get a message. Then I called Fernando Mike, and he said he was running late. He had some lame excuse about needing to wait for a baby sitter. I told him this was Alabama/Tennessee and that kids could watch over themselves for the weekend and to get his ass over here now.
Soon SuperG and Nando appeared, and we were on our way. We had another three hours to go to Bessemer, which was where our hotel was. The game was in Tuscaloosa, but it is difficult to get a room in Tuscaloosa on game day, so we had to settle for Bessemer. SuperG assured us that Bessemer was a really happening town.
We arrived in Bessemer got settled in and drove into Tuscaloosa for ribs at Dreamland. Dreamland is a Tuscaloosa institution that SuperG and Nando always go to for ribs the night before the game. We arrived and the line was outside the door, but we got sat pretty quickly. Soon we had a loaf of white bread and three full racks of juicy mouth watering ribs at our table. I asked the rather portly waitress if I could get a side of coleslaw or potato salad, but she just pointed to the bread and said that is our only side dish. It did not matter, except from a healthy heart perspective (since we were given three heart attacks on a plate,) as the ribs and bread were more than enough.
We literally rolled out of there and returned to the happening town of Bessemer. The plan was drinks at Applebees across the street. I was expecting a mass of hot young Bama and Tennessee fans spilling out of the restaurant, but when we got there were a few people at the bar including a man with two children. We sat next to the children and ordered a beer. The man’s father came over and started jawing in my ear. A table came open behind us and SuperG recommended we move their, but we mistakenly stayed at the bar. SuperG has worked many a shift as a bartender and he later claimed that he knew this dude was trouble from the start. He was right.
The father of the children came over and spent the next hour and a half right in my ear telling drunken stories of his past and cherry picking on our conversation. It was really annoying. What was worse was he had horrible breath and he was shouting in my ear and his horrid breath wafted right across my nose. To make matters even worse than that was his kids were sitting at the bar and they wanted to leave. He mentioned the children were a last minute surprise dumped on him by his ex-wife. They kept asking “Daddy can we go,” “no children,” he replied as he swilled another crown royal on the rocks down. Finally, Mr. Halitosis left us and our peace of mind not to mention our peace of nose was restored. It was a good thing as Nando and SuperG are both family men and they were getting irritated by his neglect of his children.
I keep in touch with SuperG and Nando through fantasy sports and various sports forums over the internet (yes we are dorks.) In fact, SuperG mentioned to his wife that he keeps in touch with me more than he does with some of his family members. Sitting at the bar in between these two sports experts was like being on a virtual sports forum. We discussed just about everything you could discuss in sports over the next couple of hours as we drained one large beer after another including such thrilling topics as is Gary Sheffield a cancer to his team, past Alabama/Tennessee games, we recapped the fantasy baseball season, and we discussed the age of other forum members on our Southeastern Conference forum and how their age influenced some of their posts.
Soon last call was made at Applebees and we asked the bartender if there were any other late night options. Summer, the bartender, did not blink an eye and stated that the place to go was Sharkeys. We paid our tab and following Summer’s lead, and we did not blink an eye and were Sharkeys bound. This bar was part of the Day’s Inn hotel. I have found that bars that are part of hotels seem to really rock. I knew that a hotel bar in Bessemer was the place to be, so obviously I was excited. We arrived and there was a neon sign indicating we had arrived at Sharkeyz. I have long had a fetish for bars that shake off the possessive contraction and go with a z at the end instead. Approaching the door the bouncers announced a $5 cover. This just added to my excitement because people if Bessemerarians (or whatever people from Bessemer call themselves) were willing to pay 5$ for a Day’s Inn Bar then it must be great. I asked if there was a band playing. The bouncers announced that there was not a band. They said the cover was for the privilege of drinking at a fine establishment until 4am. I paid the cover and confidently walked in and expected one of the greatest bar experiences in my life.
What my eyes saw was a totally different sight than the fantasies that had been built up in my head. The bar had 6 pool tables and a few locals were playing pool. There were a few older gentlemen up for the game talking to not very attractive looking ladies at the bar. There was dance music and two other not very attractive ladies were dancing in unison towards the back. We grabbed a seat and were soon marauded by some of Bessemer’s finest local ladies. One of these ladies indifferently exposed here bare breast to us without being asked as if she was casually showing her tattoo. Another was so hammered that she could only repeat over and over that she was getting divorced. I am not sure what was sadder, the fact that the bar was really lame, or the fact that we stayed until about 3am. I have not been to many bars that I have not like because in the end they serve a product that I am fond of.
We soon retreated and were back at the hotel around 3:30. SuperG said that we had to wake up at 6:00am in order to find parking. I set my cell phone to 6am and was in bed. What seemed like five minutes later my cell phone chirps and I wake up and turn it off. The same thing must have happened in the other room as I woke up again at 7:20am without any knocks on the door from SuperG. Somehow we managed to leave by 8am in a hung-over daze and fortunately we were able to secure parking.
We walked around campus a bit and chatted with Tennessee and Alabama fans. Tennessee and Alabama is one of the great rivalries in college sports. You would be hard pressed to get fans to agree on anything to do with college football, but there was one thing we all agreed on. We were in agreement that the 11:30am kick off SUCKED. Usually, this game is the marquee match up of the day in the Southeastern Conference and therefore gets a more prime time slot at 2:30 or sometimes even 6:30 on ESPN. With the feel good advent of Kentucky beating #1 LSU last week it kind of took away some of our luster. Kentucky was playing Florida and they were picked up by CBS at 2:30 and LSU vs. Auburn was picked up by ESPN at 8pm, so it left Bama and Tennessee fans to suffer and watch the games with still unhealed hang-overs at 11:30am.
We grabbed our chairs and opened our first beer around 9am. We were soon joined by some Bama neighbors. We were discussing how we wanted to see the Kentucky game after our game. Our neighbors had a generator and a TV and the man that was talking to us named Randy cordially invited us over after the game. We thanked him and said we would join his crew after the game.
Kick off was drawing near, so we headed down to the stadium. It took us about 15 minutes to get to the stadium and then another 15 minutes to walk up the spiral ramps going up to our seat. I had to hit the bathroom, and by the time I sat down Alabama had already scored 3 points. I guess they kicked an onsides kick on the opening possession, recovered it and then drove down the field and kicked a field goal before UT or myself knew what was happening. Although we got back in the game in the first quarter, it was not to be our day. We got a thorough stomping by our most bitter rival. There is nothing like traveling 12 hours, paying 125$ for a ticket and another $170 for a hotel room to see your team whipped.