OFFICIAL Third Saturday in October TRASH TALK THREAD

[timNem]

I guess I'll start it off with a joke.


A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Tennessee joke.

The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm a Tennessee Fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's a Tennessee Fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's a Tennessee Fan,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Tennessee joke?"

The guy says, "Nah."

To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are ya chicken?"

The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."

[shanksta13]

Tennessee sucks and Alabama and the Sabanator will completely walk all over Erik Ainge and the Volunteers! :thumpsup:

[TigersFanTaylor]

An Auburn, Tennessee and a Alabama student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Birmingham. The Auburn student opens his lunch box and says, "A hotdog again! if i have to eat one more hotdog i'm going to jump off this bridge!"

The Tennessee student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, "Salad again! if i have to eat salad one more time i'm going to jump too!"
Lastly the Bama student opens his lunchbox and complains, "Peanut butter and jelly! if i get peanut butter and jelly one more time i'm going to end it all too!"

The next day the Auburn student finds another hotdog and jumps... the Tennessee student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too... finally the Bama student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.

Later when the three mothers were grieving the Auburn mother cries, "If i had only known he didn't like hotdogs," and the Tennessee mother cried, "I thought salad was good for him." The Bama mother then exclaimed, "I don't understand... he fixed his own lunch!"

[Crimson Kicker8]

Tennessee sucks and Alabama and the Sabanator will completely walk all over Erik Ainge and the Volunteers! :thumpsup:

Now that's a punch line!

[TigersFanTaylor]

Tennessee sucks and Alabama and the Sabanator will completely walk all over Erik Ainge and the Volunteers! :thumpsup:

I'll sell that....

[shanksta13]

What do a Razorback and a Rebel have in common?





They both start with R and have 0 conference wins...





Haha, I think I'm going to continue to make up stupid jokes for the hell of it. :laugh:

[shanksta13]

Tim Tebow cried once after a football game! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :biggrin:

[Crimson Kicker8]

So if this is the official trash talk thread does that mean all the trash I've been talking up to this point is unofficial?

After a bitter loss against Alabama, some Tennessee fans decided to take a trip to a fireworks super store (Lord knows the state's full of them!) and buy some Moonchaser bottlerockets. They found some Alabama fans celebrating their victory and threw the bottlerockets right in their direction. The Bama fans, not missing a beat, picked up the bottlerockets, lit them, and threw them back.

Now how many Tennessee fans are in here right now cause I need to know how many times I need to explain this joke again. :laugh::glare::unsure:

[Zee]

What do maggots and Alabama football have in common?











They can both live off dead bears.

[timNem]

So if this is the official trash talk thread does that mean all the trash I've been talking up to this point is unofficial?

After a bitter loss against Alabama, some Tennessee fans decided to take a trip to a fireworks super store (Lord knows the state's full of them!) and buy some Moonchaser bottlerockets. They found some Alabama fans celebrating their victory and threw the bottlerockets right in their direction. The Bama fans, not missing a beat, picked up the bottlerockets, lit them, and threw them back.

Now how many Tennessee fans are in here right now cause I need to know how many times I need to explain this joke again. :laugh::glare::unsure:
You need to take your former posts before the Trash Talk Board of Regents and plead to make them official. :laugh:

[Crimson Kicker8]

What do maggots and Alabama football have in common?











They can both live off dead bears.


Meh........

[timNem]

What do maggots and Alabama football have in common?











They can both live off dead bears.What do die-hard Alabama fans and Auburn fans have in common?











Neither can talk about anything other than Bama football. :laugh:

YAY! YAY! I just made that up!

[Zee]

Meh........

haha, i really have nothing against bama, but i thought that was a pretty good one.

[shanksta13]

What do Alabama Football and the Alabama Bailey Twins have in common?

http://images.rollbamaroll.com/images/admin/closeupLed.jpg

They're both ugly and cover it up with "tradition".

[Crimson Kicker8]

What do die-hard Alabama and Auburn fans have in common?











Neither can talk about anything other than Bama football. :laugh:

YAY! YAY! I just made that up!

<stands on my soapbox and claps> BRAVO! BRAVO!:lolup:

[timNem]

Gawd! You're mean! :laugh:What do Alabama Football and the Alabama Bailey Twins have in common?

http://images.rollbamaroll.com/images/admin/closeupLed.jpg

They're both ugly and cover it up with "tradition".

[shanksta13]

Gawd! You're mean! :laugh:

Everyone knows they have the biggest butterfaces! That's why they wear the shades! :laugh:

[Crimson Kicker8]

What do Alabama Football and the Alabama Bailey Twins have in common?

http://images.rollbamaroll.com/images/admin/closeupLed.jpg

They're both ugly and cover it up with "tradition".

Ugly? What's the matter Shank, not enough wool and hoofs for ya?

[timNem]

Everyone knows they have the biggest butterfaces! That's why they wear the shades! :laugh:but there teeth are very white and have a sense of glow. :laugh: Really, I have never took a close look at them.

[shanksta13]

Really, I have never took a close look at them.

Good, now just do that with Bama Football and you're the perfect Bama fan! :biggrin:

[timNem]

Good, now just do that with Bama Football and you're the perfect Bama fan! :biggrin:Boo! Someone get this blasphemer out of here. :laugh:

[shanksta13]

Ya know why Bama has numbers on their football helmets instead of a logo?









They still haven't figured out how to put a Tide on a helmet...

[Crimson Kicker8]

Ya know why Bama has numbers on their football helmets instead of a logo?









They still haven't figured out how to put a Tide on a helmet...

Meh.......you can do better than that.:thumpsup:

[shanksta13]

Meh.......you can do better than that.:thumpsup:

I'm running out of Bama material, let's make fun of Auburn.

[shanksta13]

Everyone says the third time is the charm. Unfortunately for Auburn, they can't figure out which mascot is the third one...

[Crimson Kicker8]

A Florida sports editor was compilling a book on the triumphs of Gator football and had just called his new assistant in to give him a hand. When his assistant arrived he told him, "Yep, we've got to research all of the great games and titles Florida has had over the years and get them in this book". His assistant got a glow in his eyes and said, "Oh wow, that'll be easy! We can put in the 2006 and 1996 national titles, all the SEC championships, and our dominance over Georgia!". The editor just looked at him and said, "don't get too excited, I've already done from 1990-2007, you've got to do the rest." The assistant just slumped in his chair and sighed....


Ok, now I did just make that one up.

[timNem]

An Alabama fan and a Tennessee fan were tried in the middle east for laundering money. Both were convicted and sentenced to death by a firing squad. They were asked by the Judge if they had any last requests. The Tennessee fan said that while they were blindfolding him he would like to have a band play "Rocky Top" so it would be the last thing he heard before he died. The judge said ok. He then asked the Bama fan if he had any last requests. He replied "Yes sir. I want to be shot first". :laugh:

[Crimson Kicker8]

An Alabama fan and a Tennessee fan were tried in the middle east for laundering money. Both were convicted and sentenced to death by a firing squad. They were asked by the Judge if they had any last requests. The Tennessee fan said that while they were blindfolding him he would like to have a band play "Rocky Top" so it would be the last thing he heard before he died. The judge said ok. He then asked the Bama fan if he had any last requests. He replied "Yes sir. I want to be shot first". :laugh:

I like it!!! I'm glad no Vols fand are posted in here yet, not having to explain these jokes more than once is nice!

[shanksta13]

Have you ever seen those goofy hats that Bama fans wear to the games? The ones with the toilet paper rolls with the box of Tide in between? Contrary to popular belief, those are actually worn so that Auburn fans don't have to shop for toilet paper to roll Toomer's Corner.

[Crimson Kicker8]

I'm running out of Bama material, let's make fun of Auburn.

Aw come on Shank, I can't stay up THAT long :laugh::laugh::laugh:

[timNem]

One day Fulmer and Cutcliffe are sitting at Fulmer's house watching the Bama game and taking notes. As half time approached Phil said "Cut, why dont we go outside and turn the dogs loose so maybe while halftime is on they will get after something." So they run out while a commercial is on and turn out the dogs. About the time the halftime starts the dogs open up and are raising hell. Phil says "hurry up Cut they got something." So they ran down to the edge of the woods and low and behold the dogs had caught a goat which had his head stuck it the fence. Cutcliff said "Phil are you thinking what im thinking?" As phil was saying yes Cutcliffe already had his pants down getting busy with the goat. When he was done Cutcliffe said "alright its your turn" and Phil stuck his head in the fence. :laugh:

[shanksta13]

One day Fulmer and Cutcliffe are sitting at Fulmer's house watching the Bama game and taking notes. As half time approached Phil said "Cut, why dont we go outside and turn the dogs loose so maybe while halftime is on they will get after something." So they run out while a commercial is on and turn out the dogs. About the time the halftime starts the dogs open up and are raising hell. Phil says "hurry up Cut they got something." So they ran down to the edge of the woods and low and behold the dogs had caught a goat which had his head stuck it the fence. Cutcliff said "Phil are you thinking what im thinking?" As phil was saying yes Cutcliffe already had his pants down getting busy with the goat. When he was done Cutcliffe said "alright its your turn" and Phil stuck his head in the fence. :laugh:

Ummmm, okay I'm officially scared of TimNem... :unsure:

[Crimson Kicker8]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Y'know, you've got a steering wheel down your pants". The pirate replies, "Argh, it's driving me nuts!......and Tennessee sucks"

I just added the last part cause I really like that joke...and well, Tennessee sucks.

[timNem]

Ummmm, okay I'm officially scared of TimNem... :unsure::laugh: As long as you don't say baaaaaaaa :laugh:, nah I didn't make that one up. I copy and pasted it off of Rivals.

[Crimson Kicker8]

You guys think ole Phil will wear his solid orange polo shirt this Saturday?? I like to think that had we seen the real Great Pumpkin in that Charlie Brown cartoon that's what it'd look like.

[timNem]

You guys think ole Phil will wear his solid orange polo shirt this Saturday?? I like to think that had we seen the real Great Pumpkin in that Charlie Brown cartoon that's what it'd look like.


http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p254/akinard87/fatphil.jpg

[Crimson Kicker8]

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p254/akinard87/fatphil.jpg

Yep, that's what I'm talkin about! And what is that moisture on his gut? Sweat stains? Can you get sweat stains on your gut? Aw well, the guy can recruit.....somehow.

[timNem]

CAPTION THIS

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a84/PsychoDude123/Funny%20Crap/ca3d3493.jpg

[Crimson Kicker8]

CAPTION THIS

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a84/PsychoDude123/Funny%20Crap/ca3d3493.jpg

Is that Coach Fulmer standing starboard side? Oh....no? Oh, it's Tennessee's 2005 season.....gotcha

[timNem]

CK8, Im beginning to feel guilty that we are the only ones participating in the smack thread so far. I guess the UT fans will have alot of catching up to do.

[Crimson Kicker8]

"Tennessee's a hillbilly dumping ground!"
-from the daughter in Flanner O'Conner's A Good Man Is Hard To Find

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1B6kblecs

[Crimson Kicker8]

But I'm having soo much fun.

Since most people in Tennessee can't read here's a video they put together to celebrate their heritage....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blOcoIluidM

[timNem]

But I'm having soo much fun.

Since most people in Tennessee can't read here's a video they put together to celebrate their heritage....

blOcoIluidM
you were supposed to shoot me first :laugh:

[timNem]

But I'm having soo much fun.

Since most people in Tennessee can't read here's a video they put together to celebrate their heritage....

blOcoIluidMwhat is up at 1:03

[Crimson Kicker8]

Don't let nobody say we can talk the trash. Sorry about that tim, I should have given you a Rocky Top disclaimer or something. Gawd I hate that song. Rocky top, are you kidding me? There isn't a rocky mountain in Tennessee. And how the hell can a girl be half bear and half cat? I dated a Tennessee girl once, yeah I know, I live on the edge. Luckily she wasn't a Vol fan.

[Crimson Kicker8]

The chicks dancing??? I got nottin, maybe they found that moonshine still. Either that or the guy who made the video ran out of photos.

[Crimson Kicker8]

LOL, OMG This chick is funny, she's sounds kinda hot too (assuming she's 18 or over)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfjH1A5ExDo

[Crimson Kicker8]

tim....its got Rocky Top, be warned.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQKAp_AAqa8

[timNem]

LOL, OMG This chick is funny, she's sounds kinda hot too (assuming she's 18 or over)

mfjH1A5ExDo
" I hate trees.." :laugh:

[timNem]

tim....its got Rocky Top, be warned.......

CQKAp_AAqa8Did I see a Porta-Potty next to the outhouse?

[Crimson Kicker8]

I was too busy laughing at the "unforked family tree", but it wouldn't suprise me.

[Crimson Kicker8]

I can hear it now........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9cY5UWcCQo

[Crimson Kicker8]

We may not have any trash talking Vol fans in here yet but I found some in this video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le8AxY_Rado

[Crimson Kicker8]

Bleh, Rocky Top leaves a horrible taste in your mouth. Here's some Listerine to freshen things up.... BamaDude, you in there anywhere?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHMH7XfB7e4

[thethird]

the UA/Tenn game was a featured SEC game and didn't begin at 11:30 Central as the 3rd choice SEC game? It was chosen over SC/Vandy, so congrats on that...

[Crimson Kicker8]

Thank you northfla, thanks for stopping by and contributing such a worthless post. Now take your medicine and go to bed. It's not time for me to think about Auburn yet, this week's is dedicated to the Vols so take a number and sit down.

[gatorhater]

A Georgia fan, Tennessee fan, Bama fan, and Auburn fan were all hiking up a mountain together, arguing the whole way about who was most devoted to their team. When they got to the top of the mountain, the UT fan said, "I'll prove how much I love my team." He jumped off the side of the mountain singing 'Rocky Top' the whole way down. Not to be outdone, the Bama fan curled up into a ball and rolled off the cliff yelling "Roll Tide!" Then, the UGA fan picked up the Auburn fan, threw him off the cliff and said, "Now, let's see if you can really fly, you war damn eagle."

[gatorhater]

Did you hear that Urban Meyer is only dressing 50 players for the WLOCP?



He figured the rest of the team either wouldn't play or could dress themselves...

[gatorhater]

How do you keep Yellowjackets out of your front yard?





Put up goalposts!

[crimsonnation713]

the UA/Tenn game was a featured SEC game and didn't begin at 11:30 Central as the 3rd choice SEC game? It was chosen over SC/Vandy, so congrats on that...

Thanks Sybil. I've gotta a Tennessee and a Georgia fan that wanna go hiking. Wanna go?:dry: