The Ramp
09-11-2007, 08:48 AM
1. Never schedule anything important on a day LSU is scheduled to play
football. There are typically 353 other days of the year to do those things
on. Choose one of them!
2. Never attend a wedding during an LSU football game unless you carry a
TV... and watch it during the ceremony and reception. Also don't forget to
register the wedding on index (http://www.fallweddingssuck.com)!
3. It is against the rules to not wear purple and gold on ANY game day. More
points go to those wearing football jerseys, hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts,
pants, boxers, jewelry, and jackets, preferably ALL at the same time. Good
old purple and gold always works especially if it's old school stuff from
your LSU days. Anything else is always gay.
4. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "GEAUX" with a hearty "TIGERS!" response.
This is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when
witnessing the birth of your child.
5. Every vehicle you see while driving that has an Ole Miss or Alabama
sticker should be honked at then flipped off. To be on the safe side, do
this to every car with a Mississippi or Alabama license plate.
6. When Florida plays Auburn, it is mandatory to despise both teams. There
are no winners.
7. You cannot have a second favorite football team behind LSU. You are only
permitted to have another team that you hate the least.
8. It is OK to be emotional (and even tear up) during the following =
First beer of the first tailgate of the season;
Your child's first LSU game;
When the band plays the Alma Mater; "Hey Fighting Tiger"; " Hey Baby" or
"Touchdown for LSU" ;
When you hear "THE GOLDEN BAND FROM TIGERLAND";
Watching the sun rise after a night game in Tiger Stadium;
Anytime anyone mentions Brady Quinn and 23rd pick or USC and loss in the same sentence;
LSU winning the National Championship.
9. Always take off your hat during the Alma Mater and physically remove the
hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
10. Tailgating is mandatory. And by tailgating, you MUST be drinking beer
before 6:00 AM . This includes both home and away games.
11. When you die, you must have at least one item of LSU memorabilia with
you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick
something stupid).
12. Your children should be taught to let you know when they "have to take a
War Eagle" to then flush it around the bowl and down the hole "Roll Tide
Roll."
13. You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Bear
Bryant was a "good guy." In reality, he was a bitter old man, a cheater and
referee-baiter. The program's credibility went south forever when Bama hired
Nick Saban to resurrect their sorry assed football program.
14. Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even
if it puts your job/career at risk.
15. Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
16. Try to never boo a former or current LSU football player who is playing
in the NFL. However, as always, you can boo any player who once played against LSU
with all of your might. (ie, Rex Grossman)
17. Correct anyone who doesn't refer to LSU as "THE" only real university in
Louisiana.
18. ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity. Note: Lou
Holtz still thinks Notre Dame was better than LSU in the 2007 Sugar Bowl.
19. Hang an LSU flag outside of your house every day. If any of your
neighbors counter this with a Florida/Ole Miss flag, it is your solemn duty
to tear it down and deface it anyway you see fit.
20. It is important to consider that the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them!!!!!
And GEAUX........! (if you said nothing after that... see rule #4!)
football. There are typically 353 other days of the year to do those things
on. Choose one of them!
2. Never attend a wedding during an LSU football game unless you carry a
TV... and watch it during the ceremony and reception. Also don't forget to
register the wedding on index (http://www.fallweddingssuck.com)!
3. It is against the rules to not wear purple and gold on ANY game day. More
points go to those wearing football jerseys, hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts,
pants, boxers, jewelry, and jackets, preferably ALL at the same time. Good
old purple and gold always works especially if it's old school stuff from
your LSU days. Anything else is always gay.
4. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "GEAUX" with a hearty "TIGERS!" response.
This is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when
witnessing the birth of your child.
5. Every vehicle you see while driving that has an Ole Miss or Alabama
sticker should be honked at then flipped off. To be on the safe side, do
this to every car with a Mississippi or Alabama license plate.
6. When Florida plays Auburn, it is mandatory to despise both teams. There
are no winners.
7. You cannot have a second favorite football team behind LSU. You are only
permitted to have another team that you hate the least.
8. It is OK to be emotional (and even tear up) during the following =
First beer of the first tailgate of the season;
Your child's first LSU game;
When the band plays the Alma Mater; "Hey Fighting Tiger"; " Hey Baby" or
"Touchdown for LSU" ;
When you hear "THE GOLDEN BAND FROM TIGERLAND";
Watching the sun rise after a night game in Tiger Stadium;
Anytime anyone mentions Brady Quinn and 23rd pick or USC and loss in the same sentence;
LSU winning the National Championship.
9. Always take off your hat during the Alma Mater and physically remove the
hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
10. Tailgating is mandatory. And by tailgating, you MUST be drinking beer
before 6:00 AM . This includes both home and away games.
11. When you die, you must have at least one item of LSU memorabilia with
you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick
something stupid).
12. Your children should be taught to let you know when they "have to take a
War Eagle" to then flush it around the bowl and down the hole "Roll Tide
Roll."
13. You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Bear
Bryant was a "good guy." In reality, he was a bitter old man, a cheater and
referee-baiter. The program's credibility went south forever when Bama hired
Nick Saban to resurrect their sorry assed football program.
14. Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even
if it puts your job/career at risk.
15. Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
16. Try to never boo a former or current LSU football player who is playing
in the NFL. However, as always, you can boo any player who once played against LSU
with all of your might. (ie, Rex Grossman)
17. Correct anyone who doesn't refer to LSU as "THE" only real university in
Louisiana.
18. ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity. Note: Lou
Holtz still thinks Notre Dame was better than LSU in the 2007 Sugar Bowl.
19. Hang an LSU flag outside of your house every day. If any of your
neighbors counter this with a Florida/Ole Miss flag, it is your solemn duty
to tear it down and deface it anyway you see fit.
20. It is important to consider that the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them!!!!!
And GEAUX........! (if you said nothing after that... see rule #4!)