UKat
05-30-2007, 06:33 PM
Not fball, but related to our games.....and its funny as crap. Enjoy it was posted by a Cat fball fan on the UK rivals fball board.
BigBadBlueDaddy
All-American
Post #9072
I don't like people in general
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Dear Wildcat Marching Band Reply
Dear WMB,
Two weeks ago, I received my DVD of the Music City Bowl contest between the Tigers of Clemson and our beloved Wildcats representing the University of Kentucky. While I have many great memories from that day when UK bested Clemson on the field, I realized during halftime what one of my few, if not sole, bad recollections and that was your performance.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that you didn't do what you were supposed to do. In fact, I assume you are all very talented. The problem is that you suck. Yes, I know that sounds a bit harsh but there really is no other way to put it. I know that you don't want to suck and believe me, I don't hold you accountable. I'm positive that your director, leader, sadistic emperor, whatever is to blame. Yet, no matter where the blame lies, the fact remains that you still suck. Let me put it to you this way...if weapons were allowed in Commonwealth Stadium, it's very likely someone would have already brought an AK-47 and cleared all of you from the face of the Earth. It's a damn miracle somebody didn't rush the field and beat the living daylights out of the guy playing a rendition of "Play That Funky Music White Boy" on his instrument Trust me...I wouldn't call that playing and while it was "funky," it was funky in a bad way. Also, this wasn't just a problem at the MCB...it's been this way for years now. Remember the halftime peformance of '02 against UGA when you broke out "Thriller?" Trust me, it was not thrilling. People were cowering under their seats but it was due to not wanting to be seen viewing this utterly ridiculous piece of garbage that was being presented.
I don't know if I'm making myself clear so let me try to re-emphasize just how much you suck. The reason I brought this up is due to recently watching the MCB. It took me back to that day and seeing the bumblebees come on the field. I remember a sense of relief knowing that you wouldn't be performing. However, once the bumblebees left the field, Clemson's band came on to perform. This is when I realized what fear was like. No, it had nothing to do with Clemson. Their band not only doesn't suck but is actually pretty good. I felt fear because I had come to the realization that this means you might be performing and, no less, following a band that doesn't suck. I quickly glanced at where you were seated and saw the entire section was empty. My heart dropped into my stomach. Terror does strange things to a man and it was at this time I decided to take action but more on that later.
Despite it not necessarily being your fault, the fact of the matter is that you suck and, quite frankly, suck badly. However, there is a solution to this quandry and that is why I'm addressing you today. As I alluded to previously, I made a decision at the MCB that I thought would prevent you from torturing fans and embarrassing yourselves. That decision is to just give up and quit. Now I know you are at a sporting event and in sports you have wonderful euphimisms for life such as "winners never quit and quitters never win." However, in this case, quitting is winning. When you took the field, I tried to help you. I cajoled you to "just give up." I tried to influence you by offering to pay you to just not play. Sadly, my pleas fell on deaf ears and then we were all left to wish we were deaf as well.
You see, the beauty of this plan is that by not performing, the administration is left with no other choice but to rid themselves of whoever is responsible for the trainwreck known as the WMB and by doing so, opens up the gates to hire someone who can lead you into numbers that aren't embarrassing...someone who, at worst, will at least keep you from sucking...badly. I'm sure you would appreciate new leadership because I can't imagine you purposefully want to suck.
In closing, I hope you don't take this personally. As I mentioned before, I'm sure all of you are talented at what you do. I know you probably have a passion for band and don't want to quit but the end by far justifies the means. There are other advantages as well. By not sucking, you will gain confidence in your abilities, leading to better grades and job opportunities. It's possible some of you will even get laid. Therefore, I implore you to do the right thing and just give up. Thanks in advance for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Football Season Ticket Holder
BigBadBlueDaddy
All-American
Post #9072
I don't like people in general
MyFanPage
Add Buddy
Dear Wildcat Marching Band Reply
Dear WMB,
Two weeks ago, I received my DVD of the Music City Bowl contest between the Tigers of Clemson and our beloved Wildcats representing the University of Kentucky. While I have many great memories from that day when UK bested Clemson on the field, I realized during halftime what one of my few, if not sole, bad recollections and that was your performance.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that you didn't do what you were supposed to do. In fact, I assume you are all very talented. The problem is that you suck. Yes, I know that sounds a bit harsh but there really is no other way to put it. I know that you don't want to suck and believe me, I don't hold you accountable. I'm positive that your director, leader, sadistic emperor, whatever is to blame. Yet, no matter where the blame lies, the fact remains that you still suck. Let me put it to you this way...if weapons were allowed in Commonwealth Stadium, it's very likely someone would have already brought an AK-47 and cleared all of you from the face of the Earth. It's a damn miracle somebody didn't rush the field and beat the living daylights out of the guy playing a rendition of "Play That Funky Music White Boy" on his instrument Trust me...I wouldn't call that playing and while it was "funky," it was funky in a bad way. Also, this wasn't just a problem at the MCB...it's been this way for years now. Remember the halftime peformance of '02 against UGA when you broke out "Thriller?" Trust me, it was not thrilling. People were cowering under their seats but it was due to not wanting to be seen viewing this utterly ridiculous piece of garbage that was being presented.
I don't know if I'm making myself clear so let me try to re-emphasize just how much you suck. The reason I brought this up is due to recently watching the MCB. It took me back to that day and seeing the bumblebees come on the field. I remember a sense of relief knowing that you wouldn't be performing. However, once the bumblebees left the field, Clemson's band came on to perform. This is when I realized what fear was like. No, it had nothing to do with Clemson. Their band not only doesn't suck but is actually pretty good. I felt fear because I had come to the realization that this means you might be performing and, no less, following a band that doesn't suck. I quickly glanced at where you were seated and saw the entire section was empty. My heart dropped into my stomach. Terror does strange things to a man and it was at this time I decided to take action but more on that later.
Despite it not necessarily being your fault, the fact of the matter is that you suck and, quite frankly, suck badly. However, there is a solution to this quandry and that is why I'm addressing you today. As I alluded to previously, I made a decision at the MCB that I thought would prevent you from torturing fans and embarrassing yourselves. That decision is to just give up and quit. Now I know you are at a sporting event and in sports you have wonderful euphimisms for life such as "winners never quit and quitters never win." However, in this case, quitting is winning. When you took the field, I tried to help you. I cajoled you to "just give up." I tried to influence you by offering to pay you to just not play. Sadly, my pleas fell on deaf ears and then we were all left to wish we were deaf as well.
You see, the beauty of this plan is that by not performing, the administration is left with no other choice but to rid themselves of whoever is responsible for the trainwreck known as the WMB and by doing so, opens up the gates to hire someone who can lead you into numbers that aren't embarrassing...someone who, at worst, will at least keep you from sucking...badly. I'm sure you would appreciate new leadership because I can't imagine you purposefully want to suck.
In closing, I hope you don't take this personally. As I mentioned before, I'm sure all of you are talented at what you do. I know you probably have a passion for band and don't want to quit but the end by far justifies the means. There are other advantages as well. By not sucking, you will gain confidence in your abilities, leading to better grades and job opportunities. It's possible some of you will even get laid. Therefore, I implore you to do the right thing and just give up. Thanks in advance for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Football Season Ticket Holder