shk999
02-22-2007, 09:50 PM
What, you ask, is AU football
Unknown
This should put things in perspective.
It is not Paul "Bear" Bryant, Robert Neyland, Bobby Bowden, or Joe Peterno, but some guy by the name of Ralph "Shug" Jordan??? Don't ask me who he is or was!
It's decades of proclaiming the Bear to be a "drunk", when Bear just so happened to do most of his drinking with his drinking buddy Shug. Only difference between the two was one winning over a 100 games and the other winning over 300.
It's knowing your favorite coach, Pat Dye, got his superior coaching skills from Alabama.
It's worshiping Pat Dye because he transformed your football team from being number 3, to number 2.
It's SI saying, "Auburn will cut any corner they can, just to be like Alabama."
It's finding entertainment in criticizing Alabama for having a museum named in Bear's honor along with fans wearing houndstooth hats to football games, while you try and point out that the Bear is dead and to let him go when you seem to have a problem letting the memory of a DEAD solider go, that meant nothing to your school, which happens to date back far beyond the Bear era, by continuing his legacy chanting, "War Eagle..." If only you were bright enough to realize how disrespectful it is to him by trying to make yourself look "hardcore" by chanting the classless, "War Damn Eagle."
It is yelling "Punt Bama, Punt" 30 years after that chant outlived its cleverness.
It's the feeling of anticipation during the walk down Wire Road from your trailer to "The Jungle."
It is having a trailer park less than a mile away from the football stadium.
It is having a bovine research center less than a mile away from the football stadium.
It's having more drug deals at Jordan-Hare Stadium and Toomers Corner than in any other place in the entire South-East combined.
It's illegally blaring music over the PA system, to distract the opposing team's offense while in action!
It's hoping the NCAA doesn't drug test any of your players.
It's knowing the highest career an Auburn football grad will receive is life in prison.
It's waking up each and every day, hoping LSU has been put on probation so you can gain somewhat success on them, as well!
It is drawing national attention as a barn burns down next to the stadium during the LSU game.
It's stealing Florida's, "Gator Walk, " and cleverly covering it up by changing the name to, Auburn's "Tiger Walk."
It's back to back times of cheating LSU in your own home field, to get hairline wins over them.
It's referring to "Tuscaloosa" as "Tuscalooser" not meaning it as an insult because all Awbarn fans have that down home, smoke a pack a day accent!
It's not calling this state "Alabama, " but "Alabammer."
It's about sneeringly calling The University of Alabama "UAT, " all the while praying nobody remembers your school's original name was "Alabama Polytechnic Institute."
It's knowing the only time you can successfully defeat UA, is when their football team is in a decline.
It's calling the UA, Notre Dame, and UT football programs, "Has Beens, " not realizing how bad it makes your football program look by being know as a "Never Was."
It's 5 years of saying Bama fans live in the past, when you bring up their past just as much as they do, along with never shutting up about your irrelevant/overrated 13-0 SEC Championship season that took place 3 years ago, which you accomplished nothing.
It's knowing that your 12th man, isn't the crowd, but the officiating group.
It is not pulling for your STATE, but pulling for your ZIPCODE.
It is not only being the ugly little red-headed step child of the state, but suffering from little man's syndrome.
It's knowing your rent is due to the state of Alabama.
It's the only thing your school is number 1 in, out of the entire SEC, is mouth running.
It is watching your fans slowly evolve from losers to douche bags.
It is and always will be about "Keep it down home, cuz"
It is the look on Terry Bowden's face as he's about to pass out at the Flora-Bama.
It's honestly believing you are recognized in the same category as Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, LSU, etc., while even your own school president knows Auburn's ranked right up there with Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Duke, etc. etc.
It is having Alabama to thank for playing in such a big game: The Iron Bowl.
It is being "The Heel Team" of the Iron Bowl, to others outside of the state.
It is handing out free class credits to your top notch players, just so they could stay eligible to play football.
It's ESPN making fun of you through commercials.
It's having to be preseason ranked number 1, or win 13 consecutive victories for Sports Illustrated to recognize you.
It's about boasting so much, but having so little.
It is having a head coach who used to cook catfish for a living.
It's having to threaten to fire your coach, to convince him to actually coach!
It's about the AD and the president of AU flying to Louisville to interview Petrino for the head coaching job, a year before Awbarn has their best season in school history.
It's your head coach, Tommy Tubberville, bouncing around from school to school and finally landing a home at Awbarn because no other school was sorry enough to keep him.
It's watching Tommy Tubberville hold up 4 fingers, and spin a towel around like a little girl, after he defeats, yet another, Alabama team playing without their top starters.
It is the plane ride to Louisville.
It is saying, "Wheee!" Whenever Bobby Lowder shakes his snow globe.
It is paranoid inferiority complexes.
It's about corrupt directors mismanaging your school and almost losing your academic accreditation.
It is hearing alumni from other SEC schools refer to you as "the rubes."
It is the smell of fresh cow manure wafting through Jordan-Hare stadium.
It is the Poulon Weed-Eater Bowl.
It is owing your ex-coaches hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It's selling out 3-4 home games a year, and claming Auburn fans have the most pride.
It is watching Bama blow your team out the day after your quarterback wins the Heisman.
It is having more Heisman trophies than National Championships. At Awbarn, there is an "I" in team. They just haven't been able to figure out how to spell "team."
It is believing 2 Heisman Trophies = 2 National Championships.
It is knowing that only on other school in the NCAA has been put on probation more times than you. Oh and let's not forget about the golf team either!
It is winning your only national championship during a probation year.
It is only having 3 undefeated seasons in your history and the first two seasons came during probation years.
It is the hope that one day Auburn will win a national title without sharing it or being on probation.
It's questioning the credibility of other teams National Championships when you only have half of one.
It is having a runningback who couldn't pass a third grade English test.
It's being known for having illiterate, or dumb players.
It is buying your way out of big games.
It's paying your way out of a game against Florida State, because you didn't want Bobby Bowden to punish you for running his son off-and playing Appalachian State instead.
It is hearing Jim Fyffe scream in excitement, "Auburn takes the lead over Appalachain State!" as if he's calling the national championship game.
It is watching Ben Leard run off the field after a nail-biting win over Appalachain State yelling, "We're Back" and Appalachain State fans thinking to themselves, "Where are they coming back from?"
It is the smile on Ben Leard's face after throwing an interception that lost the 1998 Virginia game
It is Buster Brown calling his daddy at half time.
It is seeing someone with an orange shirt on and saying "war eagle" to him and he looks at you wondering what the heck you are.
It's hearing you cry and whine about game after game.
It's having more fights among your own fans than against your rival fans.
It is getting the recruiting rejects from Bama, Georgia, and Florida.
It's having recruits turn you down for teams like Florida Atlantic, Louisville, Duke, and Kentucky.
It's naming your eagle "Tiger" so you will not forget what type of animal your other mascot is.
It's not knowing whether you are plainsmen tigers, war eagles, or toilet paper throwers.
It's trying to counter-act Alabama's mascot being an elephant, when you have a tiger and an eagle on the field, along with not being intelligent enough to realize, UA goes about using a mascot, totally different from the team name, like UT, Miami, UNC, and several other NCAA teams does.
It's other colleges-not just Alabama-and even tabloids who are smart enough to realize Awbarn's too stupid to have just one mascot.
It's having fans from other schools constantly ask, ""what is a war eagle?"
It's being known as "The Plains" only showing how ordinary you are... Plain.
It's about being original and having the name "tigers" like 20 other NCAA teams have.
It is sharing the name "tigers" with countless pee-wee, division 1 AAA, 1AA, and 1A teams.
It's about having a tradition named after LSU's mascot.
It's about multiple personallity syndrome and the "Home of the 31 Mascots".
Its Auburn getting their little feelings hurt when someone chants "tigerbait" at them.
It's knowing the Tigers of LSU are the REAL tigers of the SEC, and you are the imposters.
Unknown
This should put things in perspective.
It is not Paul "Bear" Bryant, Robert Neyland, Bobby Bowden, or Joe Peterno, but some guy by the name of Ralph "Shug" Jordan??? Don't ask me who he is or was!
It's decades of proclaiming the Bear to be a "drunk", when Bear just so happened to do most of his drinking with his drinking buddy Shug. Only difference between the two was one winning over a 100 games and the other winning over 300.
It's knowing your favorite coach, Pat Dye, got his superior coaching skills from Alabama.
It's worshiping Pat Dye because he transformed your football team from being number 3, to number 2.
It's SI saying, "Auburn will cut any corner they can, just to be like Alabama."
It's finding entertainment in criticizing Alabama for having a museum named in Bear's honor along with fans wearing houndstooth hats to football games, while you try and point out that the Bear is dead and to let him go when you seem to have a problem letting the memory of a DEAD solider go, that meant nothing to your school, which happens to date back far beyond the Bear era, by continuing his legacy chanting, "War Eagle..." If only you were bright enough to realize how disrespectful it is to him by trying to make yourself look "hardcore" by chanting the classless, "War Damn Eagle."
It is yelling "Punt Bama, Punt" 30 years after that chant outlived its cleverness.
It's the feeling of anticipation during the walk down Wire Road from your trailer to "The Jungle."
It is having a trailer park less than a mile away from the football stadium.
It is having a bovine research center less than a mile away from the football stadium.
It's having more drug deals at Jordan-Hare Stadium and Toomers Corner than in any other place in the entire South-East combined.
It's illegally blaring music over the PA system, to distract the opposing team's offense while in action!
It's hoping the NCAA doesn't drug test any of your players.
It's knowing the highest career an Auburn football grad will receive is life in prison.
It's waking up each and every day, hoping LSU has been put on probation so you can gain somewhat success on them, as well!
It is drawing national attention as a barn burns down next to the stadium during the LSU game.
It's stealing Florida's, "Gator Walk, " and cleverly covering it up by changing the name to, Auburn's "Tiger Walk."
It's back to back times of cheating LSU in your own home field, to get hairline wins over them.
It's referring to "Tuscaloosa" as "Tuscalooser" not meaning it as an insult because all Awbarn fans have that down home, smoke a pack a day accent!
It's not calling this state "Alabama, " but "Alabammer."
It's about sneeringly calling The University of Alabama "UAT, " all the while praying nobody remembers your school's original name was "Alabama Polytechnic Institute."
It's knowing the only time you can successfully defeat UA, is when their football team is in a decline.
It's calling the UA, Notre Dame, and UT football programs, "Has Beens, " not realizing how bad it makes your football program look by being know as a "Never Was."
It's 5 years of saying Bama fans live in the past, when you bring up their past just as much as they do, along with never shutting up about your irrelevant/overrated 13-0 SEC Championship season that took place 3 years ago, which you accomplished nothing.
It's knowing that your 12th man, isn't the crowd, but the officiating group.
It is not pulling for your STATE, but pulling for your ZIPCODE.
It is not only being the ugly little red-headed step child of the state, but suffering from little man's syndrome.
It's knowing your rent is due to the state of Alabama.
It's the only thing your school is number 1 in, out of the entire SEC, is mouth running.
It is watching your fans slowly evolve from losers to douche bags.
It is and always will be about "Keep it down home, cuz"
It is the look on Terry Bowden's face as he's about to pass out at the Flora-Bama.
It's honestly believing you are recognized in the same category as Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, LSU, etc., while even your own school president knows Auburn's ranked right up there with Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Duke, etc. etc.
It is having Alabama to thank for playing in such a big game: The Iron Bowl.
It is being "The Heel Team" of the Iron Bowl, to others outside of the state.
It is handing out free class credits to your top notch players, just so they could stay eligible to play football.
It's ESPN making fun of you through commercials.
It's having to be preseason ranked number 1, or win 13 consecutive victories for Sports Illustrated to recognize you.
It's about boasting so much, but having so little.
It is having a head coach who used to cook catfish for a living.
It's having to threaten to fire your coach, to convince him to actually coach!
It's about the AD and the president of AU flying to Louisville to interview Petrino for the head coaching job, a year before Awbarn has their best season in school history.
It's your head coach, Tommy Tubberville, bouncing around from school to school and finally landing a home at Awbarn because no other school was sorry enough to keep him.
It's watching Tommy Tubberville hold up 4 fingers, and spin a towel around like a little girl, after he defeats, yet another, Alabama team playing without their top starters.
It is the plane ride to Louisville.
It is saying, "Wheee!" Whenever Bobby Lowder shakes his snow globe.
It is paranoid inferiority complexes.
It's about corrupt directors mismanaging your school and almost losing your academic accreditation.
It is hearing alumni from other SEC schools refer to you as "the rubes."
It is the smell of fresh cow manure wafting through Jordan-Hare stadium.
It is the Poulon Weed-Eater Bowl.
It is owing your ex-coaches hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It's selling out 3-4 home games a year, and claming Auburn fans have the most pride.
It is watching Bama blow your team out the day after your quarterback wins the Heisman.
It is having more Heisman trophies than National Championships. At Awbarn, there is an "I" in team. They just haven't been able to figure out how to spell "team."
It is believing 2 Heisman Trophies = 2 National Championships.
It is knowing that only on other school in the NCAA has been put on probation more times than you. Oh and let's not forget about the golf team either!
It is winning your only national championship during a probation year.
It is only having 3 undefeated seasons in your history and the first two seasons came during probation years.
It is the hope that one day Auburn will win a national title without sharing it or being on probation.
It's questioning the credibility of other teams National Championships when you only have half of one.
It is having a runningback who couldn't pass a third grade English test.
It's being known for having illiterate, or dumb players.
It is buying your way out of big games.
It's paying your way out of a game against Florida State, because you didn't want Bobby Bowden to punish you for running his son off-and playing Appalachian State instead.
It is hearing Jim Fyffe scream in excitement, "Auburn takes the lead over Appalachain State!" as if he's calling the national championship game.
It is watching Ben Leard run off the field after a nail-biting win over Appalachain State yelling, "We're Back" and Appalachain State fans thinking to themselves, "Where are they coming back from?"
It is the smile on Ben Leard's face after throwing an interception that lost the 1998 Virginia game
It is Buster Brown calling his daddy at half time.
It is seeing someone with an orange shirt on and saying "war eagle" to him and he looks at you wondering what the heck you are.
It's hearing you cry and whine about game after game.
It's having more fights among your own fans than against your rival fans.
It is getting the recruiting rejects from Bama, Georgia, and Florida.
It's having recruits turn you down for teams like Florida Atlantic, Louisville, Duke, and Kentucky.
It's naming your eagle "Tiger" so you will not forget what type of animal your other mascot is.
It's not knowing whether you are plainsmen tigers, war eagles, or toilet paper throwers.
It's trying to counter-act Alabama's mascot being an elephant, when you have a tiger and an eagle on the field, along with not being intelligent enough to realize, UA goes about using a mascot, totally different from the team name, like UT, Miami, UNC, and several other NCAA teams does.
It's other colleges-not just Alabama-and even tabloids who are smart enough to realize Awbarn's too stupid to have just one mascot.
It's having fans from other schools constantly ask, ""what is a war eagle?"
It's being known as "The Plains" only showing how ordinary you are... Plain.
It's about being original and having the name "tigers" like 20 other NCAA teams have.
It is sharing the name "tigers" with countless pee-wee, division 1 AAA, 1AA, and 1A teams.
It's about having a tradition named after LSU's mascot.
It's about multiple personallity syndrome and the "Home of the 31 Mascots".
Its Auburn getting their little feelings hurt when someone chants "tigerbait" at them.
It's knowing the Tigers of LSU are the REAL tigers of the SEC, and you are the imposters.