WallyGoat
12-12-2006, 12:02 PM
There was a plane with a landing gear problem trying to land at the airport in Knoxville today. The landing gear problem was actually caused by an overload of weight aboard the plane. I heard from friend's butcher's wife's best friend's dog walker's sister's cousin's gay nephew's boyfirend's uncle's boss's brother's bar tender (take a deep breath) that Fat Phil is out, and Fat Albert is in, as the new HC at UT! Yeah, shocker!
No joke. The SEC could be in some serious trouble. Fat Albert has been coaching Junkyard Gang League football for over two decades. He's undefeated. That's right. No losses! Of course if you factor in the fact that they play by their own rules, don't keep score, and everyone wins in the end resulting in a valuable lesson, then I guess that there is no need to worry.
But still, you never know...you just never know.
His contract includes $3.1 million per year for 6 years, $2 mil and an XL bag of jelly beans for his signing bonus, a lifetime pass to Corky's, free trolly rides to Gatlinburg, and the option to hire his own staff. I guess Cutcliffe gets the boot, and Mushmouth will be calling the plays from the booth.
Quote: "I just wanna have fun y'all. Ain't not a thing wrong wit dat! Me and Mushmouth and the rest of the Junkyard Gang are takin' over Tennessee football, and we're gonna win! I just hope the other teams play fair. I don't like cheaters. And no tacklin'! Tacklin' is a no-no. We usually play two hand touch, but sometimes one, because of the slower folk. They useta not be able to catch me 'cause I am so amazin'ly fast. But now I am coaching. I got to be serious about my job. No goofin' off. It's not acceptable in..........Oh my stars....is that a ham sandwich I smell? Y'all mind if I step out for a bite.....thank ya kindly...."
Sounds like a new era of UT football is just on the horizon.
No joke. The SEC could be in some serious trouble. Fat Albert has been coaching Junkyard Gang League football for over two decades. He's undefeated. That's right. No losses! Of course if you factor in the fact that they play by their own rules, don't keep score, and everyone wins in the end resulting in a valuable lesson, then I guess that there is no need to worry.
But still, you never know...you just never know.
His contract includes $3.1 million per year for 6 years, $2 mil and an XL bag of jelly beans for his signing bonus, a lifetime pass to Corky's, free trolly rides to Gatlinburg, and the option to hire his own staff. I guess Cutcliffe gets the boot, and Mushmouth will be calling the plays from the booth.
Quote: "I just wanna have fun y'all. Ain't not a thing wrong wit dat! Me and Mushmouth and the rest of the Junkyard Gang are takin' over Tennessee football, and we're gonna win! I just hope the other teams play fair. I don't like cheaters. And no tacklin'! Tacklin' is a no-no. We usually play two hand touch, but sometimes one, because of the slower folk. They useta not be able to catch me 'cause I am so amazin'ly fast. But now I am coaching. I got to be serious about my job. No goofin' off. It's not acceptable in..........Oh my stars....is that a ham sandwich I smell? Y'all mind if I step out for a bite.....thank ya kindly...."
Sounds like a new era of UT football is just on the horizon.