End A Date in 5 Words...

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

Title is self-explanatory. Post any humorous ideas as to how you could end a date with just 5 words.. I'll start! :laugh:


-No, Not another damn outbreak

-Ive got this third testicle..

-What is your name again?

[AUTiger94]

Title is self-explanatory. Post any humorous ideas as to how you could end a date with just 5 words.. I'll start! :laugh:


-No, Not another damn outbreak

-Ive got this third testicle..

-What is your name again?
Time to apply my cream!

[cocky4ever]

oops...gotta change my diaper

[azamugg]

anal or traditional, your choice

[cocky4ever]

"Did you bring the crack?"

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

One sec gotta check SECTalk

[AUTiger94]

One sec gotta check SECTalk
That one can have devastating effects on marital bliss as well. :azz:

[goallthewayua]

I'm done, your cab's outside.

[timNem]

I'm done, your cab's outside.


:uglyhamme :icon_rofl :yelrotflm :lol: :rolling2:

[Lawdog]

It's ribbed, for your pleaure.

Those aren't real, are they?

Want to touch my monkey?

Where'd you get that weave?

[IrmoCock]

I'm clean, baby. Trust me.

Mom wants her car back.

Is McDonald's ok with you?

[JerryBeeds]

Do you mind if we stop by the cleaners on the way so I can pick up my gimp suit?

[shanksta13]

Do you mind if we stop by the cleaners on the way so I can pick up my gimp suit?

:crazy: 5 x 4 words??? :blink:

[shanksta13]

anal or traditional, your choice

That doesn't work for you...? I must just be good then... :laugh:

[JerryBeeds]

:crazy: 5 x 4 words??? :blink:
Haha. My bad. I forgot we were only supposed to use 5 words. I'll try harder next time. :laugh:

[Lawdog]

I promise it's not contagious.

[shanksta13]

I promise it's not contagious.

Should we give him the contraction? Technically I think that's six words... :laugh:

[Lawdog]

Should we give him the contraction? Technically I think that's six words... :laugh:

OK, here's the Tonto version:

I promise, it not contagious. :laugh:

(Reference John Lovitz on SNL in late 80s, if you don't get that one. Yes, I'm that damn old.)

[shanksta13]

OK, here's the Tonto version:

I promise, it not contagious. :laugh:

Now that's a thing of beauty!

[GatorNation]

Title is self-explanatory. Post any humorous ideas as to how you could end a date with just 5 words..
You're too fat for me.

[shanksta13]

You're too fat for me.

Dude, you're gonna get grilled on that one! But at least everyone knows you're joking! :laugh:

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

You into Dungeons and Dragons?

[TDArkansasOhmy]

My dog taught me that.

Do I smell Tuna Fish?

Cheap perfume makes me fart!

Want to see my gerbil?

Prison sex taught me alot.

[AuburnandGamecockGirl]

Here is one from a female perspective...


Your brother's is much bigger.... :laugh:

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

Here is one from a female perspective...


Your brother's is much bigger.... :laugh:


Ouchhhhhhhhh!

[AUTiger94]

From a Bama fans perspective-

"I'm a professional Dynamite Fisherman!" :laugh:

[timNem]

From a Bama fans perspective-

"I'm a professional Dynamite Fisherman!" :laugh:

Sorry, but you lost me on that one

[timNem]

Sorry AUTiger94, just had to counter with a Tubberville line


"Wanna see my little thumb?"

[AUTiger94]

Sorry AUTiger94, just had to counter with a Tubberville line


"Wanna see my little thumb?"
It's all good!

How 'bout this Bama Fan favorite

"May I borrow a dip?" :laugh: :stickpoke

[timNem]

It's all good!

How 'bout this Bama Fan favorite

"May I borrow a dip?" :laugh: :stickpokeHey there is nothing sexier than a girl that you can bogart a dip of snuff from

[GamecockDieHard]

Haha. My bad. I forgot we were only supposed to use 5 words. I'll try harder next time. :laugh:


I'll try harder next time

[GamecockDieHard]

No, I said...

"It feels like a wart"!

[USC66]

I like the clemson tigers.

[TigerFanatic]

i'm late for a raid!


(reference to Everquest/World of Warcraft/Everquest2)

[Lawdog]

My mother will be chaperoning.

[Neo]

I tested positive last week.

What is this large blister?

Pop it and wipe gently.

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

[Lawdog]

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

Copycat. :laugh: :laugh:

[Lawdog]

I gotta take a dump.

[Neo]

Copycat. :laugh: :laugh:


You already used that one? Sorry chief. I didn't read through the whole thread. :unsure:

[Lawdog]

I have a huge booger.

[Lawdog]

You already used that one? Sorry chief. I didn't read through the whole thread. :unsure:

Just messin' with ya, Neo.

[Neo]

Can you wipe me please?

Don't fret, it's only feces.

Help me, my ****'s bleeding.

My dad wants a piece.

[Lawdog]

Would this one work:

"Neo is my best friend." That might run a girl or two off!

(Sorry, Neo. I don't even know you, but you are a "public figure" in this forum, and you happened to show up, so you got the dart thrown your way. All in good fun, though.) :wave: :hi: :lol:

[Neo]

How does it work again?

Wanna see my Playboy collection?

[Neo]

This is dedicated to LawDog....

I can't get it up. :laugh:

[Lawdog]

This is dedicated to LawDog....

I can't get it up. :laugh:

Oh, man, that hurts, Neo!!! :brick: :brick: :laugh: :laugh:

[Lawdog]

This is dedicated to LawDog....

I can't get it up. :laugh:

Along those lines:

This happens to every guy.

[Gamecocks4Ever]

Look harder, it's down there!

[BigSpur]

Is your little brother single?

[Neo]

Oh my God! It's growing...

[Neo]

Why are you laughing honey?

[Gamecocks4Ever]

You made it go limp

[Lawdog]

Hi, my name is Neo.

----End of date. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Gamecocks4Ever]

Your mother liked it better

[Neo]

My Father loved it dearly.




To LawDog....

Honey, I can't find it....

[Gamecocks4Ever]

Honey, i shrunk the periis

[Neo]

Please help me, it's stuck....

[Gamecocks4Ever]

I can't spell it, but i shrunk it

[Lawdog]

You are paying, aren't you?

[Lawdog]

How much for a bj?

[Neo]

Throw some flour on it.....

[Gamecocks4Ever]

I'd rather watch porn alone

[timNem]

I look good on you

[Neo]

Barbara Streisand is my idol.

[Gamecocks4Ever]

Barbara Streisand is my idol.
Might run off a girl, but a gay guy would be in line to hump ya. :laugh:

[Neo]

Do you like it rough?


Was it good for you?


I'm starting to itch again....


Don't talk, play with it.

[Neo]

It burns when I pee.

Can you see it there?

That always happens to me.

C'mon, pet my little monster.

I don't have any protection.

[Neo]

I am not the father.

That is not my child.

You promised me you wouldn't.

Get down where you belong.

Open up and say ahhhh.

[Neo]

http://www.minorleaguenews.com/graphics/features/2005/09/champions2005.jpg

[Lawdog]

My balls itch really badly.

[Lawdog]

Check me for lice, please.

[Neo]

You said it wouldn't hurt.....

[Lawdog]

Should I have scabs there?

[Neo]

We have to amputate now!!!

[Trinity]

You like whips and chains?

Your backseat or mine?

I'm hung like a toddler...

Make me your b$@ch tonight!

:laugh:

[Lawdog]

Wanna go watch monkeys screw?

[TDArkansasOhmy]

.................

[shanksta13]

....


No need to make it personal man...

[Neo]

....


Personal attacks are not allowed here. This is your official warning.

[Bulldog Bry]

Wait. The Mothership is calling

Sorry. Judge won't let me.

Did you bring a friend?

Tell me that don’t stink

[Lawdog]

Do herpes sores hurt much?

[azamugg]

My dog taught me that.

Do I smell Tuna Fish?

Cheap perfume makes me fart!

Want to see my gerbil?

Prison sex taught me alot.

now those are good! :laugh:

[azamugg]

I tested positive last week.

What is this large blister?

Pop it and wipe gently.

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

all extremely corny and/or unoriginal

[Lawdog]

all extremely corny and/or unoriginal

How about contributing one then? :thumpsup:

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

My forum alias is Neo.

/game over.

[TDArkansasOhmy]

now those are good! :laugh:

THanks azamugg, glad to see someone that knows humor. I work hard on it.

[Neo]

My forum alias is Neo.

/game over.



AU Blake is Neo's bit&h!


Game over.... :thumpsup: :happy:

[azamugg]

How about contributing one then? :thumpsup:

I did, you need to try and find it if its important to you

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

AU Blake is Neo's bit&h!


Game over.... :thumpsup: :happy:

No need for the name calling this is a public forum!

[Neo]

No need for the name calling this is a public forum!


I didn't call you a name. I mentioned a fact, Don't dish it if you can't take it.

Remember this...

My forum alias is Neo.

/game over.

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

Oh I can take it, but you're the one who leave negative rep in a whiney fit over it. I'm just giving you sh** because you whine so much when its directed towards you, but then its A-OK for you to go ahead and bypass the rules.

p.s. they are called PRIVATE messages for a reason. ;)

[Neo]

Oh I can take it, but you're the one who leave negative rep in a whiney fit over it. I'm just giving you sh** because you whine so much when its directed towards you, but then its A-OK for you to go ahead and bypass the rules.

p.s. they are called PRIVATE messages for a reason. ;)



Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever.... :twak:

You make fun of me and my name and I'm not supposed to say anything or feel offended? :crazy:

If anyone is whining, it's you. I didn't bring up the dirt into the forum. You did.

As for breaking the rules, I didn't. I didn't say...

"AU Blake is a bit&h!"

I said...

"AU Blake is Neo's bitc&!"

There is a difference. Maybe Auburn University doesn't teach simple contexts within the English language. :uglyhamme :LOL_Hair:

[Neo]

Thank you for the two (2) users that gave me the "+" rep over my comment. :happy:

Don't dish it, if you're not prepared to reap the consequences.

[USC66]

Precum? No that was it!

[xprmntg]

Can you use a strapon?

Your a$$ sure is big!

I like your mustache, alot.

My dad likes to watch.

I graduated from Ole Miss.

[AU Blaaaaaaaake]

I like to wear jorts

[Gator2753]

AU Blake: (when he has a date of course)

1. I love men in jorts.

2. I feed cows after class.

3. I love Old Spice cologne.

4. Do you smell corn dogs?

[WayzUp]

"Hi, my name is Beeds."

[Gator2753]

I like to wear jorts

You know this is pretty sad on my part. He didnt mention anything about UF in this post and I just assumed he was referring to Florida fans. LOL
Oh well....

[WallyGoat]

I don't bathe at all.

[gatorhater]

You know this is pretty sad on my part. He didnt mention anything about UF in this post and I just assumed he was referring to Florida fans. LOL
Oh well....

Freudian slip...

[gatorhater]

Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity...

[sheluvsbama]

Title is self-explanatory. Post any humorous ideas as to how you could end a date with just 5 words.. I'll start! :laugh:


-No, Not another damn outbreak

-Ive got this third testicle..

-What is your name again?

Love is a mythical thing.

[lacene]

don't mind the video camera.....

can your sister join us?

can your brother join us?

Please put on this wig....

[AUFootball24]

Get on your knees, NOW

[azamugg]

your nose hairs are tittilating

[GAMECOCK_FAN]

End A Date in 5 Words...

"I'm a Clemson Tiger fan." :laugh:

[gatorunvrsty]

I think I love you!

[GatorHunter]

I sit down to pee

[lacene]

You liked crab at dinner......

[GeauxTo]

Do you mind if we stop by the cleaners on the way so I can pick up my gimp suit?

Beeds was not a math major.
:laugh:

[GeauxTo]

Do you like Auburn football?

[gatorunvrsty]

The night game is on.

[lacene]

you smell like a corn-dog


you have a sexy coon-ass

(hyphens ftw!)

[Gator2753]

I enjoy fighting with barners.

I enjoy fighting with bammers.

[GeauxTo]

you smell like a corn-dog


you have a sexy coon-ass

(hyphens ftw!)

Thank you. I am considering turning my considerable wrath upon the Cock-O-Doodle-Doos.
:laugh: