Some funny posts from around the boards

[ColonelKurtz]

From Flotowncock1973 on Gamecock Central comes this crazed gem:

quote: HELLO ALL READERS IN THIS FORUM. Well like i said before......2005 will be our BLACK MAGIC YEAR, (EXCEPT NO LOSS TO NAVY)WE WILL GO 13-0. You heard it from me first...YES 13-0. CAN YOU SAY OR FATHOM A NATIONAL TITLE FOR SOUTH CAROLINA IN 2005 ??? I sure can........HERE'S WHY.
CENTRAL FLORIDA GAME 1 : Well Central Fla. went 0-11 in 2004. Of course they will be better. O'leary is an excellent coach. I suspect they will win several games in '05 BUT NOT THIS ONE. We will be pumped from the start and excited over having a NEW COACH AND A NATIONAL TV AUDIENCE. I SEE A 30 PT VICTORY IN THIS ONE.
GEORGIA GAME 2 : Well THE DAWGS HAVE A MIGHTY REPUTATION, but that is all they have. NONE of the David's are there anymore. Georgia hasn't beaten SOUTH CAROLINA 4 years in a row since 80'-83'.That was when Vince Dooley was coach. MARK RICHT IS NO VINCE DOOLEY !!!!! It won't be easy.......BUT GAMECOCKS WIN IN A SQUEAKER BY 3.
ALABAMA GAME 3 : Well BAMA is not the BAMA OF THE BEAR. LAST TIME I HEARD........THE BEAR WAS DEAD !!!!!!! So, we won the last two. Should have won the last three against them. People are only saying they are good cause of their past excellence. GAMECOCKS PREVAIL IN THIS ONE BY 10.
TROY GAME 4 : Well at this point in time, IT will be late SEPTEMBER. The gamecocks will be nationally ranked and thinking BOWL GAME. Unless of course we can't go because of probation. PERISH THE THOUGHT !!!!! GAMECOCKS STAY FOCUSED HERE AND WIN THIS ONE BY 20 AND MOVE INTO THE TOP 15 NATIONALLY.
AUBURN GAME 5 : WELL THE GAMECOCKS GO INTO JORDAN-HARE stadium in this one. This will be a down year for AUBARN. A YEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT for them. The wheels will be coming off their wagon by the time the cocks roll into town. I say SC BY 7 in this one.
KENTUCKY GAME 6 : OK.....THE CATS WILL NEED ALOT OF WILD TURKEY TO DEAL WITH ALL THE PAIN THE COCKS ARE GONNA MAKE THEM FEEL. SC by 25 in this one.
VANDERBILT GAME 7 : WELL Stick with your schoolwork you pencilnecks. NERDS NO MATCH FOR COCKS. SC by 40 in this one.
TENNESSEE GAME 8 : Hmmmmmmm.......IT IS ALMOST HALLOWEEN NOW. Coach Spurrier is already inside PHAT PHILS HEAD. Gamecocks pull off their biggest road victory since MICHIGAN IN 1980. Gamecocks by 3 in this one.
ARKANSAS GAME 9 : Well Lou is no longer here to motivate the HOGS.It was obvious they wanted to stick it to him. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ARKANSAS..........LOU IS GONE. THE OLE BALL COACH IS HERE THOUGH. SC by 17 in this one.
FLORIDA GAME 10 : Well I am wearing my gatorskin shoes as I am writing this. More pressure on the Gators in this one. SC FINALLY BEATS FLORIDA.........and moves into the TOP 5 NATIONALLY.
CLEMSON GAME 11 : Well 63-17, 29-7, 63-35-4, NO GAMECOCK FAN WILL FORGET THOSE STATISTICS . CLEMSON FANS ENJOY REPEATING THEM AT EVERY TURN. Well what do we have to say ??? HOW ABOUT 11-0 AND A TOP 3 NATIONAL RANKING ??? Yes indeed, I like those numbers better. GAMECOCKS GET REVENGE IN THIS ONE BY 10 PTS AND MOVE ONTO THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME 12 : IT'S A SHOWDOWN BETWEEN THE LSU TIGERS AND THE SC GAMECOCKS !!!!!! Obviously, the gamecocks have an eye on the prize. Not just the SEC championship but a National Championship. In a hard fought battle, the Gamecocks finally get their respect in the SEC and win the coveted Championship.It is the greatest accomplishment for SC sports since SC captured the coveted ACC Basketball Title in 1971.

NATIONAL TITLE GAME ROSE BOWL GAME 13 : IT's the battle of USC. SC EAST VS. SC WEST. Who will prevail ????? Like in 1983 ,SOUTH CAROLINA WILL SHOW THE MEN FROM TROY, WHO THE REAL USC IS. THE GAMECOCKS WIN THIS BATTLE..........SHOCK THE NATION.......SHOCK THE WORLD.......SEND WAVES THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AS THEY CAPTURE THE 2005 FOOTBALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BY THE SCORE OF 30-21. STEVE SPURRIER IS NAMED SEC COACH OF THE YEAR AND NATIONAL COACH OF THE YEAR. BLAKE MITCHELL, SYVELLE NEWTON, OJ MURDOCK, KO SIMPSON, RICARDO HURLEY,MARQUE HALL AND JABARI LEVEY ARE NAMED ALL-AMERICANS. The city of COLUMBIA,SC holds a massive Tickertape PARADE. 1,000,000 GAMECOCK FANS FROM AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE THERE TO CRY, REJOICE AND CELEBRATE........THAT NEXT YEAR IS FINALLY HERE.

AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE, WELL MY FRIEND, ALL I CAN SAY IS WAIT AND YOU SHALL SEE. THEY LAUGHED AT NOAH WHEN HE WAS BUILDING HIS ARK TOO. BUT NOAH KNEW WHAT WAS COMING. I DO AS WELL. 2005 WILL BE THE YEAR THE GAMECOCK RISES FROM THE ASHES LIKE THE GREAT PHOENIX. I HAVE SEEN IT AND I AM LETTING YOU KNOW. LAUGH IF YOU WILL........BUT I HOPE YOU ARE STILL LAUGHING WHEN THE GARNET TORNADO HAS RIPPED YOUR TRAILOR TRASH TEAM TO SHREDS !!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOO COCKS. HELLO FROM FLORENCE,SC.

[ColonelKurtz]

Then you've got this (slightly more rational) analysis from Beesnut on the Hive:

quote: Just wanted to give a quick condensed version of where our opponents are at in terms of returning starters and strengths/weaknesses.

One note... always remember that your opponents new starters are going to be good but your team's new starters won't be. This is how every one of our opponents see it...

Auburn: Strength ~ Linebackers, Weakness(s) ~ Entire backfield is new as well as three new DL starters. Of course every Auburn fan thinks that the new QB and RB will be better than what was lost but everyone around the country knows that is balogney. Auburn's defense will be breaking in 3 new DL and 2 new DB's when GT plays them. This is a HUGE advantage for Tech as no receiver in the SEC comes close to Calvin Johnson. Tech should win this one between 7-10 points.

UNC - Strength ~ 9 starters back on defense, Weakness ~ loss of Durant (graduation), and McGill (injury). UNC will have a great deal of trouble scoring points in the early going this season. With only 5 starters back on offense (3 OL and 2WR)scoring two TD's in each of the first few games will be a tall order. The defense returns almost intact but finished 109th in the nation. This appears to be a long season for UNC. Tech should win this one by 14 - 28 points.

UCONN - Strength ~ RB, Weakness ~ QB, OL, LB. The Huskies are in a rebuilding mode after losing all everything QB Dan Orlovsky. UCONN's defense did finish 27th in the nation but their schedule included the likes of Murray State, Duke, Army, Temple, Buffalo, Rutgers, and Toledo. Tech should win this game between 17 - 28 points.

Virginia Tech - Strength ~ WR, RB, Weakness ~ QB, Secondary. VT is abit of an enigma. Marcus Vick takes over the reigns at QB but for all the hype he is still a very unproven commodity. Until he plays he is just that... all hype. VT must replace three starters from the secondary. That is going to make VT susceptible to the pass. Only three teams scored 20 or more points on VT last season: USC, GT, and UNC. This game should be considered a toss up only for the fact that VT gets GT in Blacksburg. The good thing is we play them early and Marcus Vick will not have played a veteran secondary by then (yes they play NCSU which is replacing 2 LB's and the entire secondary) so this game is even.

NCSU - Strength ~ DL, Weakness ~ Qb, WR, and Secondary. NCSU is not poised for a breakout year. The DL will be formidable once again but the offense will not likely score many points as neither the WR's or QB are very good. The secondary must replace all four starters which is not an easy task for a team that led the ACC in defense last season. Look for Tech to continue the ownership of NCSU this season until they decide to put some athletes on offense. Tech wins between 10 and 17 points.

Duke - Strength ~ QB, Weakness(s) OL and Defense. Duke is Duke... the offense is anemic (& will be worse with four new starters on the OL) and the defense has more holes than a slice of swiss cheese. Look for more of the same from Duke. Tech wins this one going away...

Miami - Strength ~ OL, Defense, Weakness ~ new Qb, RB, and WR's. If the defense can find a way to stop the run this season Miami should return to form of the Miami of old. The pass defense was outstanding but the run defense was very suspect. The OL returns mostly intact and will be heavily relied upon while new QB Kyle Wright gets a feel for the college level. The RB's and WR's will be new as well (with the exception of SE Lance Leggett) so there will definitely be a breaking in period. The game with FSU looked daunting at one point but with FSu's offseason attrition Miami should be favored in at least nine games this season. Tech will probably lose this game by about 10 points.

Clemson - Strength ~ Defense, Weakness ~ Offense. Clemson looks to get back on track after the offense finished 110th in the nation last season. The talent is decent on offense though the QB and WR positions are questionable. Clemson's defense is decent but we all know the outcome of short corners and tall receivers. Tech gets the Tiggers at home this year and should fully expect to win as the Jackets have a sizable advantage on both defense and offense. Tech should win between 4 - 10 points.

UVA - Strength ~ OL, LB, Weakness(s) WR, QB. Sure UVA has a Senior Qb ins Marques Hagans. Unfortunately they finished 2004 91st in passing offense. That's one big reason why UVA could not beat FSU, Miami, and VT. Once they got behind there was no coming back as UVA is a running team. They've got the OL and the RB's for it but if a team shuts them down there then stick a fork in the 'Hoos cause they are done. Since UVA won at GT last season it only makes sense that GT will return the favor this year and beat UVA. GT played well for most of the game against UVA and should likewise do the same. This game is a toss-up imo but a slight edge to GT for having better WR's and a better defense.

UGA - Strength ~ OL, Weakness(s) QB, WR, UGA fans. First things first... DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. Sure UGA recruits great every year until 4 or 5 of the players don't qualify. UGA is a 7 to 8 win team this season. With little experience at QB and WR this team will rely heavily on the run. That works great against teams like Vanderbilt and Kentucky but what happens when you run into a buzzsaw DL like Auburn, GT, or UT? Shockley is not the next coming of David Greene and Herschel Walker's love child. Quite the contrary he lacks most of the leadership and intangibles that made the less physically gifted Greene the winningest Qb in NCAA history. UGA fans should get used to seeing the shellshocked look that Shockley had on his face when he subbed for the injured David Greene against GT.

The OL is good but gives up way too many sacks. That may change somewhat as Shockley is more mobile than Greene was. The RB's are good though none are all SEC quality. RB by committee will be the gameplan. The WR's outside of Pope are unproven and won't be able to carry the load or stretch defenses like Brown and Gibson were able to do.

On defense look for UGA to give of a good chunk of yards through the air when playing teams that employ a passing type offense. UGA only played two teams that finished ranked higher than 50th in passing offense last season which played a big part in the reason UGA's pass defense was ranked 16th in the nation (UF #14 & Auburn #40) The dawgs will find out in game one just how good their secondary actually is when Boise State visits.

With the loss of Thurman, Davis, and Pollack on defense there should be an expected learning curve for the replacements and I am sure the UGA faithful wish they were opening with North Dakota Horticultural School for the Blind again this season.

**Tony Taylor comes back from knee injury at the MLB spot and Will Thompson comes back from injury as well. Let's hope they stay healthy. Tech should win this game by 10 -14 points as UGA just won't have the offensive firepower to score much on good defenses.

Thoughts?

***Edited to include Wake Forest***

Wake Forest - Strength ~ OL, RB, Weakness(s) WR, Defense.
Wake continues to play everyone tough under Head Coach Jim Grobe. IMO... Wake is like UVA light. They have a terrible passing offense that finished 109th in the nation last season so once they get behind they have a hard time coming back. They do have arguably the best RB in the ACC in Chris Barclay and they should once again gain around 200ypg on the ground.

The defense finished 71st in the nation last season is replacing 5 starters (two of those being CB's). That does not bode well for Wake esepcially since they will be playing BC, FSU, Miami, GT, and Nebraska this season.

Bottom line is unless Wake lulls the GT defense to sleep Tech should win this game handily. 14-21 points imo.

[ColonelKurtz]

Mark Green, one of the mods on Inside the Auburn Tigers offers up his solon-like thoughts about recruiting:

quote: I think even our coaches were a little taken aback as we fans were by the suddenness and "soonness" of the last two commits. That has to be the best sign of all of how we will do in Feb. Nothing like going 13-0 and the NEXT recruiting class when every recruit in the nation is thinking about you.

Not only this, but toss in the incredible NFL showing and you get "surprises" like Fannin and Tate and Lord knows who else. If these guys start calling other recruits, they will make AU THE school for NFL player development. Consider that the 4 first rounders (Cadillac, Ronnie Brown, Carlos Rogers, Jason Campbell) making $10 million or more from NFL teams and the percentage chance of making big NFL dollars at Auburn is better than anywhere right now with these coaches who DEVELOP PLAYERS to their full potential. No other program is doing that this well right now. AUBURN is HOT- FIRE HOT. Those key players who chose AU over Georgia, Florida or Alabama, have a LOT to show for their intelligent decisions. Way to go Ronnie Brown, Cadillac, Carlos-all of whom turned down Georgia and Tennessee to come to AUBURN.

Had they chosen those schools, they might have gone the way of Jabari Davis-nowhere. At Auburn, players develop into pro caliber talents. Say what you will about Ga and TN draftees, but the percentage of highly-ranked recruits at AUBURN who make it to the bigs is MUCH higher than the percentage who make it at UT and UGA. And the chances of getting into trouble or even into jail is much higher at Tennessee and Georgia than at AU where Tommy Tuberville has a virtually spotless record of producing first class young men (see Caddy, Ronnie, Jason). AU has simply become THE pipeline to the NFL in the past couple of years.

[Cianne]

First guy is a total whackjob.

Second guy is informed but misinterprets stats such as UVA having a bad QB when all they do is pound the ball with Lundy.

Third guy is a homer to the 2nd degree.

[ColonelKurtz]

A thread from Gator Country merits posting for 60% of the respondents believe that FU will either play for the SECC or play in the Rose Bowl:

GC (http://mb15.scout.com/fufinsiderfrm5.showMessage?topicID=21060.topic)

[ColonelKurtz]

And this one the BamaBoard, where disgust over the fantasy that anything Phat Phil did in anyway altered the fact that Logan Young bought and paid for players and was finally nailed for it:

Bama out of the SEC (http://mb9.scout.com/falabamafans48326frm1.showMessage?topicID=76032.to pic)

[Cianne]

And this one the BamaBoard, where disgust over the fantasy that anything Phat Phil did in anyway altered the fact that Logan Young bought and paid for players and was finally nailed for it:

Bama out of the SEC (http://mb9.scout.com/falabamafans48326frm1.showMessage?topicID=76032.to pic)

Scout boards offer humor and brighten my life with their incessant whining and vile cesspool of hogwash. Bamamag is the best to read if you want to get a laugh.

[ColonelKurtz]

Scout boards offer humor and brighten my life with their incessant whining and vile cesspool of hogwash. Bamamag is the best to read if you want to get a laugh.

Some of them are better than others, just like on Rivals, but the best are the newpaper forums. That is where those souls who couldn't conform on the network sites end up and where one will find the most wildeyed rantings, thoughts, and lunacy found on the Internet.

[GTmorris1970]

Some of them are better than others, just like on Rivals, but the best are the newpaper forums. That is where those souls who couldn't conform on the network sites end up and where one will find the most wildeyed rantings, thoughts, and lunacy found on the Internet.

Just had to throw a couple of idiots from Tech and Carolina in there didn't ya!! ;) :D

[ThomasBrown_4heisman]

LMAO@Georgia being a 7-8 win team? What is this dude thinking I mean im all for having confidence in you're team but there is a difference between confidence and stupidity. I love Georgia football Ill live and die by it I see Georgia losing 1 possibily 2 games FLA/TN Im not really sure about the TN game because we have practically owned them the last couple of years in there own backyard plus Im a be there and Georgia is 3-0<---superstisious lol. If I even spelled that right.