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Herschel Talker

Herschel Talker

Member Since 07 Nov 2006
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 03:29 PM

My Saturday Schedule...

18 September 2014 - 02:46 PM

I won't be attending the game in Athens this Saturday due to the fact that the number of minors in my care exceeds the number of tickets in my possession.  Here's my gameplan:

9am - 12pm: College Gameday
12pm: Start watching UGA vs. Troy.
12:30'ish pm: Order pizza at end of 1st quarter.  Grab several beers.
3:29pm: Call 911 to have them come check on my kids if I haven't heard them make any sounds in a while.  Pee.
3:30pm - 7pm: Bama rapin' the Gators.  Pee at halftime.
7pm - 8pm: Eat, Posted Image, piss.  Put a bowl of water out for the children.  Grab more beer.
8pm - 11:30pm: Clemson - Florida State.  Pee at halftime.
11:31pm: Call 911 again if the kids aren't asleep.  Grab more beer.
11:32pm - 12am: Pee.  Drink heavily.
12am - 1am: College Gameday Final

That's 16 hours straight.
Posted Image

How do I divorce my family?

14 August 2014 - 12:48 PM

So, here's the situation...

My only brother and his wife are expecting a baby in January and I couldn't be more excited to become an uncle for the first time.  My kids will finally have a cousin!  I can't wait until the kid gets old enough to come spend weekends with us and overall, I'm just looking forward to it.

Here's the problem.  They have scheduled a "Gender Reveal" party for August 30th.  She's a nurse and he's a paramedic, so they have limited options for free days.  But I called them and told them that it wouldn't work since I have tickets to the Clemson game.  But they wouldn't reschedule.  So I called my mom and warned her that I would be the black sheep by not attending and not bringing my kids.  I was told that I would be excommunicated and not allowed to see my niece/ nephew.

So pretty much, I have it worked out so that I can spend an hour at the what-have-ya and make it to the game, but I'll miss tailgating.

Here are my concerns: first of all, what the Posted Image is a "gender reveal" party and is that another Posted Imagety girly event now that I'll have to start attending?  Secondly, does anyone see a solution where I can just ditch the rest of my family but still get to hang out with my niece/ nephew?