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I’ve been a member here for almost four years now, and prior to being on the staff, I was just a regular user like most of you. With football season approaching and activity picking up, I thought I’d dust off the old newbie guide and add some new information for our new friends who will be joining us so they don’t crash and burn like so many of us did when we first joined.
The most important thing you need to know, as a member of this wonderful site, is to NOT TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. Like this is just an online forum. We all like to talk smack and run the train on n00bs. It’s okay. Soon it will be your turn to return the favor to another unsuspecting member. But other than that, let’s begin:
DO introduce yourself. A simple post saying "Hey, whats up guys? New to the board, I'm a huge ____ fan, looking forward to being involved here" is always appreciated in the intro forum.
DON’T get cocky. You don't have to tell us what you do for a living or how much you make (let’s face it, your life probably sucks anyway, and the ridiculous garbage you're going to make up to make yourself sound cooler is going to get busted by experienced BS detectors around here anyway).
DO bet familiar. Get an idea for the format. See what’s being discussed and the manner in which topics are being responded to. Take note of the guys that are getting reamed for being assclowns. See their pain. Observe their misery.
DON’T act like said assclowns.
DO befriend your fellow fans quickly. If you become well-liked by fans of your team, who are already respected members of the forum, they will come to your aid, should you find yourself under a barrage of attacks from the clowns from other schools. Think of it like being in prison, except you don't have to do us any of those "favors" to buy our protection. Just be a cool cat. You'll come to appreciate this when you are feeling overwhelmed by the argument you are in, and the big guns come in to bail you out. We've been here awhile, we know how to shut these people up.
DON'T make your own fan base look bad, because the established members of that fan base WILL throw you under the bus and abandon you in your hour of need. In order to save face, sacrifices will be made, and you will be offered up as fresh meat to the (gators, cocks, tide, whoever you pissed off) and it will be open season on your n00b ass. If you have already become liked by your fellow fans though, they will instead likely take you under their wing and guide you so that you do not make the same mistakes again.
DO offer your own opinion in a well thought out way, being respectful to others and try to sound objective, at least somewhat. If you want to be a homer (like me) then just know that you will be called out for it, you will have to defend yourself, and unless your skin is as thick as the armor on an Abrams battle tank, you will find yourself in a name calling spat that will end up with you getting a nasty note in your private messages from Vader.
DON’T attack an entire fan base. This is the quickest way to ensure that you will never be able to post again without being mercilessly flamed. When you attack a fan base indiscriminately, you light a giant metaphorical neon sign above your head that says "I'M LOOKING FOR A FIGHT." And you will get it. The entire fan base on the board will declare war on you and make sure that you can never have a nice discussion on the board again without being tormented. Furthermore, often if you insult a fan base, you will not only vilify yourself to them, but possibly another teams fan base, that may hate the team you insulted less than they hate your team. (for instance, a Bama fan insulting Georgia fans, thus drawing the ire of Georgia fans, but also Tennessee fans looking for a reason to hate you as well). You may force an alliance of board members against you, and then you might as well wave the white flag, because they're going to neg rep you into oblivion.
DO use the rep and high five system. What is it? Well basically it measures how well you and your posts are liked around the site. Use it to make some friends early on. Remember, you won’t be able to rep or high five until you have first reached 10 posts.
DON’T abuse the rep system. Particularly, don’t mess with people with 80 bajillion rep points. They will neg rep you, and send you into the red. And guess what else? They have friends. They will neg rep you too. By the end of the day it will be a merciless melee of neg repping fury, and you will be yet another poor casualty in the war on douchebaggery.
DO share if someone asks you to meet them outside of Sanford Stadium after the UGA game to get even.
DON’T make up false stories about receiving threats. Namely, stories about Bama fans threatening to beat you up unless you bought them Nachos. (Inside joke, stick around and you will come to know it and love it). Just remember, don't lie. Somebody will call you out. You will be in the proverbial stocks while everyone stands around and laughs at you, throwing cabbage, radishes and rudabegas (metaphorically speaking). This will result in neg rep (see previous paragraph).
DO share a good article when you run across one. We all like to talk sports so the more you contribute the better, BUT,
DON’T spam us. Example: "Hey everyone, I'm _______. I love the _______. Check out my blog at www.Imadumbazz.com." We're the "hardcorest" fans out here, so if it's worth a dang, we've probably already heard about it or read it anyway.
DO cheer for the entire SEC in non-conference games. We already have enough non-conference fans trolling the site during the offseason, they don’t need any more help. While homerism is generally looked down on here, the rules go out the window when it comes to talking about the SEC as a whole. You will find that we would gladly go to war (literally, in our army surplus camo and hunting rifles) with the rest of the country if it meant getting one of our teams into the National Title game over an overrated Ohio State. Oh how we hate Ohio State. Except this one guy named KillerNut, he's cool.
DON’T say anything good about the PAC-11 or Big 10/11/12/?? other than that they have nice weather (and a really hot chick known as "pole vault girl") in California. The same goes for Notre Dame. And Lane Kiffin.
And last, but certainly not least:
DO have fun and post often.
DON’T conduct psychological experiments. Or use the phrase 'I will be with a group, but it will be just you and I.'
If you have any questions about anything, simply PM (that's Private Message for all you n00bs) one of the staff members. There's plenty of them, and you'll get your question answered quickly. Just don't message Benny. He likes men.
Edited by Benny, 11 August 2010 - 12:33 PM.
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