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basic man rules. things every man should know and live by

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185 replies to this topic

#31
L.A.Hog

L.A.Hog

    Go Hogs,Pilgrim

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If you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.

#32
Herschel Talker

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We are programmed to kill, fight, and Posted Image.  God gave us facial hair to keep us warm while doing all these activities.  So ditch the razors, you pansies.
Posted Image
Formerly known as gatorhater

#33
possumslayer

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Real men drink dark beers.. no light beer especially that ultra crap that is the official sponsor of the LPGA.

#34
possumslayer

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Should also have at least two frozen Muggs in the freezer at all times...at least one needs tooo have your favorite sports team logo on it.

#35
possumslayer

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View PostSheLuvsBama, on 22 January 2014 - 09:05 AM, said:

I have a question. WHY would you buy jewelry for a woman you AREN'T dating?
I'm rich....she's poor and hot...

#36
possumslayer

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View PostL.A.Hog, on 22 January 2014 - 10:51 AM, said:

If you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.
more than twice use a stall
..beating it in a urinal looks weird.

#37
possumslayer

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View PostLarge Marge, on 22 January 2014 - 08:51 AM, said:

My man advise:

Learn to use and identify tools. ESPECIALLY A MULTIMETER.

Don't overcharge an auto A/C unless frostbite turns you on

Never braze a copper pipe while you're laying underneath it unless you got coveralls or a pair of welding gloves on your chest

Always step on rafters or a platform when you're in an attic

Don't ever use your phone next to a gravity bong, it will find its way in there somehow.

Most importantly, if you need to eyeball weed quantities, its two fingers for a quarter three for a half.
wear safety goggles when changing auto trans fluid...that Posted Image burns.

#38
possumslayer

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Don't carry a swiss army knife....that's gay.

#39
JDawg

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-It's a magazine, not a clip.

-If behind in the count, choke up and put it in play.

-Bourbon was never intended to be mixed with a soda.

-Lighter beers/wines with lighter meats, darker beers/wines with "redder" meats.

-Anything more than medium should be considered burnt and thrown in the trash.

-If you brag about how great the gas mileage is, you probably don't look manly driving it.

-Always keep a spare roll of tickets in your vehicle.

-Red sky's in morning, sailors take warning.  Red sky's at night, sailors' delight.

-Winds from the east, fish bite the least.  Winds from the west, fish bite the best.  Winds from the north, don't go forth.  Winds from the south, baits hit their mouth.

-Aim small, miss small.

FIRE EVERYONE


#40
possumslayer

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Maybe the most important man law tooo learn and it comes with age ....learn tooo let it go...

#41
RammaJamma

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Learn how to fix some Posted Image..

I say this because it has really surprised me lately how dumb the younger generation is. We've started a new program at work taking trainees.. now all these guys have an industrial maintenance or electrical degree but I'm not sure they could fix their toilet if it didn't work or change oil in a vehicle. Its like they have no common sense at all..
"I didn't come to Alabama to win 10 games a year and be a contender. I came here to win championships, Conference Championships, and National Championships. I love it here because that's not just what I want, but what this fan base expects." -Alabama Head Football Coach Nick Saban

ROLL TIDE!!

#42
possumslayer

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View PostRammaJamma, on 22 January 2014 - 05:22 PM, said:

Learn how to fix some Posted Image..

I say this because it has really surprised me lately how dumb the younger generation is. We've started a new program at work taking trainees.. now all these guys have an industrial maintenance or electrical degree but I'm not sure they could fix their toilet if it didn't work or change oil in a vehicle. Its like they have no common sense at all..
I worked at Honda for ten years.....all those idiots built minivans for years...could they change the oil in their own cars ,change brakes ,grease it....of course not.

#43
HmanHunt

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View PostSquealliam Fatner, on 22 January 2014 - 03:10 AM, said:

Don't carry a higher denomination than ones into a strip club. Even the ugliest "dancers" make big bank. Make them earn YOUR money- hell, you had to earn it. And, for God's sake, don't buy them drinks. Do you get free alcohol where you work? I'm there to get my buzz on and see titties, not find a date.

Sounds like youve been to the French Quarters in HS
Posted Image
^55in Box jump

#44
Large Marge

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    Ask me about Loom

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View PostRammaJamma, on 22 January 2014 - 05:22 PM, said:

Learn how to fix some Posted Image..

I say this because it has really surprised me lately how dumb the younger generation is. We've started a new program at work taking trainees.. now all these guys have an industrial maintenance or electrical degree but I'm not sure they could fix their toilet if it didn't work or change oil in a vehicle. Its like they have no common sense at all..

I unfortunately get lumped into this category because of my age lol.
Posted Image

#45
bbqit

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the only way you can get the last word in with your wife is to fart.
Du-te la dracu 'LSU



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