Have a seat and let me tell you the story of how this saga came to be, and what is on Mr. Jones' agenda for today.
** Late yesterday afternoon, disguised as faithful bookfarmers, an elite Red and Blue Team 6 penetrated the Maroon defenses around the MSU safehouse located in Houston and, knowing that no one willingly goes to Oxford, abducted Mr. Jones.He was then whisked away in a black Land Rover which easily outdistanced the pursuing herd of pick-ups and tractors driven by the outclassed defenders of all that is good and righteous from People's University.
He was then taken to Sardis where he was introduced to his potential Dolphins, two veterans who, reputedly, have been responsible for the conversion of several key recruits in the past. Next stop was sorority row where he was given his choice of WWS's. (Women Who Swallow, for the ignorant.) After that we are not allowed to report.
This afternoon, the agenda includes a hearty breakfast, followed by the Walk of Champions, indoctrination and brainwashing, the ceremonial passing of the duffles, the de-commitment ceremony, and adoration sessions will follow.
It will, of course, close with a brief sermon from Freezus and a benediction. **